I'm no meteorologist ....

but I'm pretty sure it's raining bitches. (And I can't find a clip of that!)

Okay, maybe not exactly raining, but there were two horrible bitches tonight. The first came in with her husband and daughter. They're semi-regulars, and the husband is always nice as can be. The little girl is always sort of whiny ... and the mother is a total goddamn hag. She's mean to her daughter; never makes eye contact with her server; never says please or thank you; never says hello; and just snaps out her order.

Tonight they ordered a chip and dip appetizer before their dinner, which I rang in promptly. However, we had four servers on the floor and the place had just filled up again, so it did take maybe three minutes longer than usual. They were sitting at table 11, and one of my coworkers was at table 10 next door. I delivered their appetizer, and my coworkers stopped me on my way back to the kitchen. Apparently, right before I walked up with the appetizer the woman said quite loudly, "Didn't I fucking tell her chips and dip?"

Later, when I checked on how their dinner was, she said "we're fine NOW" as if I'd forgotten something. She didn't eat most of her dinner, as always; and as always they left a ten percent tip. It's so strange to me that her husband, who's so very nice, would put up with her acting that way in public.

The second bitch was a few hours later. I had a table of four, and I also had a three, a two, another two, a five, another two, and I think a three. We'd just cut to closers, which can be a hectic time. In this particular instance, three of the four entrees went out. The fourth was left in the window--but somebody discarded the ticket for the order, so nobody knew where the fourth plate was supposed to go. I saw it there, but I thought it was the start of the table at the top of the screen, which had an identical item.

A few minutes later I went by my four-top, which was in a sort of separate area from the rest of my tables. My fellow closer was standing at the table while one of the guys checked how his steak was cooked; nobody appeared to have eaten; I had no reason to think anything was wrong. So imagine my surprise when I asked how things were and was informed by the wife that "there was like a ten minute wait between the entrees!"

Oh, how I love the customer exaggeration. Thirty seconds becomes a minute; a minute becomes five; two minutes becomes ten. I apologized for the "wait", and asked if I could bring them anything else. The wife sort of snorted and leaned her forehead against her hand as if she just couldn't stand this. "Well, we're going to need some boxes," and she waved her hand over the table before covering her face again.

Oooookay. So I bring the boxes, which they predictably didn't use. The woman wouldn't look at me or answer me the rest of the meal, even when I addressed her directly and with a smile. Everybody else, including the guy whose steak had actually been delayed, was just fine. Bitch.

Despite the bitches, it was actually a good night. I got there at five, and had a seven table section (incredible!); within half an hour it had filled up. I got a rotation and a half in before the first rush ended; then we had another rush after first cuts, and another when we cut to closers. I left with $120 tonight after tip out and dinner. People were generous for the most part, and I was kept busy until the end.

In the end, I made $17/hour tonight in tips. I'm okay with that!