The Crew


Harley: New GM - I can just totally see her jumping on a bike in leathers and going for a ride. Does her job but doesn't freak out and think the sky is falling like Chicken Little always did. So far I haven't seen a hint of back-stabbing psychosis but I'll admit I'm still sorta waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Lapdog: Oh yeah, he's still around. He outlasted CL and CL's first replacement and while he had a rough start with Harley, things are evening out. He's a lot less freaked out now, though he does still lose his cool occasionally. He's also still easily distracted by bringing up off-beat music, craft beers, and chef's tricks (he worked for a very high-powered chef long ago).

Fester: Yeah, that's who he looks like. In charge of the schedule and does a good job pissing people off with it. Seems jealous of Harley and was recently telling people he was "supposed to get her job." Way to endear yourself to the boss, buddy.

Mistress J: Still a former dominatrix, still hilarious and twisted, still awesome. Also a relief manager now.

Mere Employees

Accent Girl: She hasn't changed a bit - still swapping accents randomly and chattering your ears off at any opportunity. I'm glad to see her again.

Barbie and the Bug: Yeah, I'm still not a fan of them. Both of them are bartenders now; Barbie has completely ignored me so far. Bug has been a little more talkative when I talk directly to her. They both still suck at applying makeup.

Fake Hick: Claims to be all about bonfires, trucks, and livestock. I don't quite buy it with the amount of makeup she pancakes on - I think I truly would not recognize her without it. She might be a country girl in the sense of driving a truck, but her manicure says she never shovels any shit.

Mr. Rimple Minze: This guy just does not give a fuck about anything, which is sort of refreshing - zero involvement in restaurant drama. He's also perverse and inappropriate, so naturally one of my favorites. Too bad he drinks so much, which inflames his liver, which puts him in the hospital every couple of months.

Roomie: Lived with me for a few months years ago, and came back to the restaurant about a month after I did. I'm so excited to have her back!

Work Wife: We're no longer separated! Except we don't work the same shifts right now. But it's still nice to see her in passing between shifts, and we've stayed friends the whole time I was gone.

Dearly - or Not-So-Dearly - Departed

Mouse: She just seems so timid and sweet! Married to Eager Beaver (who's now a manager at another store), and they do not seem to be a match at all. Transferred to another store and tried to get Harley fired, claiming she was drinking on the job. Um .. we have cameras now, dear.

Dumb Bitch: I'm sorry. I know it's not a very creative name. Usually I'm better at this. But this woman ... there's just nothing else I can call her. She's just the epitome of stupid, entitled bitchness. She has no other personality quirks or individuality. I mean, I could call her Dumb Child Neglecting Alcoholic Bitch, but that's just cumbersome. I. Can. Not. Fucking. Stand. Her. And she likes me about as much, which just makes me laugh because I think her liking me would actually make me a worse human being.