Sunday, December 7, 2008

That's a funny way to be.

Maybe it was just my mom who raised me to think that if someone asks how you are, it's polite to respond. But some of the answers I get at work ... I have to stop myself from being a smartass.

Me: "Hi folks! How are you tonight?"
Rude lady: "Do you have happy hour now?"

Me: "Hello, how's everyone today?"
At least one person, every day: "Iced tea."

Me: "Hello! How are you?"
Again, at least one person every day: "(silent stares INTO MY SOUL)"

Me: "How are you?"
"Water."

Me: "How are you?"
Some middle aged woman who'll order "just water" and a half sized salad with dressing on the side and don't you have any bread?, while pointing at the three other menus in front of empty chairs: "We have three more coming."

Me: "How are you?"
"Don't you have a booth?"

How are you? Water. No ice. How are you? Don't you have (item that was taken off the menu three years ago)? How are you? Last time I was here my steak was cold. How are you? I want to see (some damn sports game). How are you? We need more silverware.

How are you? You're iced tea? You don't look like it. You do, however, look like someone whose momma didn't teach you any manners.


And you? Oh, you're hungry! Ha ha ha! I've never heard that before! Oh, you're tired? Would you like some coffee? No? Then what the fuck do you expect me to do about it! Honestly? We're strangers. I'm asking within the confines of my job. I don't really want to know, beyond trying to get a feeling for how to serve you--leisurely, rushed, don't interrupt, etc.

I'm not actually seriously annoyed about this, I was just thinking about it. I think it's fairly amusing. Equally amusing is when I ask someone what they want to drink and they respond with something like "steak medium well".

3 comments:

Simon said...

I responded to something similar on Well Done Fillet's blog. I don't know how you do the job you do. I am SO intolerant of rude people, it's got me into trouble before. How hard is it to respond to "Hi, how are you?" with "Fine, thanks for asking" ? EVEN if you don't mean it. EVEN if you're not being sincere. Its Common Bloody Courtesy.
Like saying thank you if someone holds the door for you. Or saying sorry if you inadvertently bump into someone. These sorts of things were the inspiration for my blog way back when. Solution? Big field. Lots of guns.

purplegirl said...

I like that suggestion. People with no common decency shouldn't be allowed to take up my air.

Mikyla said...

And aren't you glad you don't deal with this any longer?

I work in a convenience store, and I get similar treatment. We get a lot of Country Club members at our store. You know - the ones who own the world? My pet peeve? When i reach out to take your money, don't look at me and drop it on the counter RIGHT next to my hand. It should not be a news flash, but if I can see you, then you can see me (well, except for Gary because he's legally blind. And even HE manages to get his money in my hand.)

I blame the fact that we, as a societal whole, are too self-absorbed. We only care about ourselves.