Saturday, July 4, 2009

Things that pissed me off today.

-Arriving to find 3/4 of my tables sat.

-Having three tables before cut.

-Getting to moved to a different section at cut, right after that section gets filled up and right before my old one gets filled.

-People who interrupt me saying "Can I bring you anything else?" to demand "more lemons!"

-People who sit on the very outside edge of the booth with their feet in the aisle, as if they might have to run for their lives at any moment.

-People staring at me like I just asked them to solve for X under conditions of Y when I ask what they'd like to drink.

-People who think joking about my tip is just fucking hilarious!

-Having to read an entire menu to people because they don't read English or speak it very well--and the Spanish menu every location of this chain restaurant is supposed to have? Oh, ours is from about 2006.

-Having the same people try to tell me their beer should be half priced because it's after nine--well, it wasn't after nine when you ordered it, and our happy hour prices aren't half off anyway!

-And then the same people leaned on their book for ten minutes, not acknowledging me at all or giving any sign they were ready to cash out. I go to the bathroom, and so of course that's when they decide they need to pay RIGHT THE FUCK NOW and flag down the manager.

-Then the manager gets pissed off and throws their book down on the counter in front of me.

-The same manager working on totally freaking out because he thinks we're too busy after he finally, finally, FINALLY cuts to closers. Yeah, there were a lot of tables in the place--because people were camping the fuck out!

-Morons who look at the word "penne" and say "panini".

-People who ask, every damn time they're there, if we have Diet Dr. Pepper. NO! We didn't last week, and we won't next week! Christ on a pineapple! Shut up and drink some diet coke!

-Adults who try to order mudslides for their children for dessert--sure, I'd love to see little Sally get her drunk on! Bartender, five shots of Kahlua in that, one for every year she's been alive!

But what will cheer me up?


Masquerade said...

ROFL That reminds me of a chick I dealt with today. 'I want the unlimited omelette'. mean the ULTIMATE omelette?

Honestly, forgetting your glasses or something is one thing but who the heck would even OFFER an unlimited omelette deal? *lol*

LW said...

Aren't managers the best? Their idea of a busy restaurant is how many bodies are in the place. We base it on how much we are doing. I'm sorry, but if there are 10 tables, and I'm sitting on my butt, it's not busy.
And those tables that wait to close out until you are nowhere in sight...don't even get me started!

purplegirl said...

Unlimited omelette? Really? Hilarious!

Oy, managers. Can't they just go sit in the office until called? :)

Anonymous said...

Recently came across you're blog with a link from Gotta say I've really enjoyed everything I've read so far and I'm still only part way through!

You're mention here about the penne being said wrong made me think of two things I here a lot at my job. I work in a photo print center and the two I hear all the time:
Kodak - spoken code-e-ack
SanDisk - spoken Scan Disc

Makes me cringe every time.

purplegirl said...

Is a Kodiak camera the kind made by bears, maybe? :)

Anonymous said...

I've wondered that myself a time or two....