Monday, January 4, 2010

Fresh meat.

We have a new girl who transferred in from a store in Texas, and I'm still trying to figure out if I like her or not. I don't know where she's from, but Dallas will work at a nickname. Every time I start thinking she's nice and friendly, and that I'll end up liking her, she goes and says something weird.

For instance, she asks everybody over twenty why they don't have kids, whether they're married or dating or single. Now, asking if somebody has kids, totally normal. But to follow it up with "why not?" is a little weird, right? She didn't like my answer. But I warned her someone had once told me it was the most cynical thing they'd ever heard.

Later in the night yesterday, I had yet another table come in and order two coffees. Nothing else. I was annoyed by this for several reasons, one of which was these people are regulars and they're shitty tippers no matter what they order, and they're campers. So I'm in back having a mini-rant as I pour their coffee--"why the fuck do people come to a restaurant if they're not hungry? why don't they go to a coffee shop or a bar?" etc.

Dallas looks at me and says, "You're not a very happy person, are you."
I told her I'm a very happy person, I just get annoyed with stupid people.
"Happy people don't get annoyed by stupid things," she sniffed.
"No, highly medicated people don't get annoyed by stupid things."
At that point Idiot Expo jumped in, waving his medical marijuana waiver, and proclaimed that he's highly medicated. Well no fucking wonder.

The rest of my coworkers seem to be on the fence about her too. I guess time will tell.


JTN said...

When someone asks why i don't have kids, I usually say "Until I stop referring to them as external parasites, I'm not sure I'm ready for them yet."
That usually shuts them up.

purplegirl said...

Ha! I love it!

AZWaitress said...

Hahaha. For some reason I loved this post.

I've started blogging again PG. Dunno if I can remember all the gems I get at work (like the Latin man that peed in a bucket on the table and left it for me afterwards with his 7 cent tip), but I'll try to keep you entertained with my occasional fellow waitress stories! ;)

JumpIt said...

We have one of those at our place, too. The only thing I can tell you is that it's a blast coming up with the most ridiculous answers to that question and watching their facial expression.

purplegirl said...

JumpIt, I wish I'd come up with something crazy. :) I love to shock the breeders.

AZ--PEE IN A BUCKET? No fucking way! That's insane!

Aunty Pol said...

I am now officially on the floor laughing,.....PG ..honey don't call her Tulsa..she's more Dallas than anything else. Trust me here....I know the type and live in Houston.

I'm reminded of a partial conversation at in laws for Christmas Eve where neice in law ( his side ) blathered on for an impressive amount of time. As the topic continued to center around her she had the gall to tell me the following...hang in there , you will love this..

1. She loves the Gamers ( tabletop/board vrs RGPr's (me) who are in their 40's to 50's because they are just sooo mellow ( thanks dear) and less prone to ask her why they don't have children yet...uh huh." The ones that are the worst , she carried on " are the ones who can't have children , as if I am going to fulfill some inner need/goal of theirs."

I kid you not.

Thankfully the MIL's hearing is shot so she didn't hear me lean over and rip the Princess a new one.

I buried 2 children who would have been 36 this coming June...

Sorry.,....this one hit a nerve with me....just tell her to STFU already



AZWaitress said...

I'm dead serious. I meant to write about it today, but haven't felt well. I will though! :P

purplegirl said...

Oh, and I"ll change it to Dallas just for you, AP! :)

purplegirl said...

AP, I'm so sorry to hear you lost your children. :( Good for you telling off that niece of yours, what a rude, insensitive, snotty bitch!

AZ, I just read your post and I am fucking speachless.

Pat the Rat said...

For rude or dumb questions, do what Miss Manners does, she says"I will forgive you for asking if you will forgive me for not answering".
Well spoken but still being shitty!