Saturday, December 18, 2010

I hate the holidays.

Saying "Merry Christmas" does not equal 15% of the bill. Fuckheads.


SkippyMom said...

God I missed you. Never fail to make me smile [although I probably shouldn't be smiling at your pain/cheap as* tips.]

And yes you are right.

Buy some holly. Then throw the sh*t at the b*tches. If you do it right it hurts almost as much as a chinese star.

And you can feign as tho' it was just a "Merry Christmas" back at them.

yellowcat said...

Cash is the only thing that equals 15% of the bill. I don't want your season's greetings or compliments. That shit doesn't pay the bills.

purplegirl said...

Hehehe, holly as a weapon! I love it! :)

fuckmytable said...

Chili's has forbidden us from saying "Merry Christmas". Fuck them. I wasn't there on the day they told everyone, so I've written it on every check and said it to every table, just because I fucking can.

Also, I've gotten more people explaining how they don't have as much money around the holidays, and sorry for the small tip. Newsflash: I'm not going to be able to pay my bills with "sorry" and "happy holidays". Fuckers.

Squishy said...

You know I hate to be the one to say this because I am not a raging cow, but quite honestly if people cannot tip appropriately because little Johhny had to have that 49.99 dollar toy and little Suzy needed that 79.99 doll house, and the Squish only gets 10% I say to you "Stay home. Make a pot roast. Do not drag your children into my restaurant, torture me by leaving loads of crap under the table, and asking for fifty million breadsticks." 10% or less is not paying my carpayment two weeks later this december, or for the insurance, the registration, or the frigging power steering and brake fluid flushes that my car needed. And my mom asks me "So what are you getting me for Christmas? And where's your rent money for this month?".


PS Stay your butt home so I don't have to run around like a virgin inmate in county jail trying to keep his ass safe from all the other scary convicts who like fresh meat...

Sauce said...

Ah the holidays! I love that because you need to buy the newest piece of shit for Billy it means you give me less than what I'm due for waiting on you hand and food. Guess what, you "needing" to be the fanciest santa ever is not an excuse for bad tipping. Maybe - just a thought - you can't afford to buy that new toy for Billy if you can't afford to follow basic societal expectations when it comes to tipping. Besides, Billy will probably be over that toy in a freaking week anyway.

And yes, I realize that a tip is not a given, but it should be one when I treat every table REALLY well. And I'm not just saying that - I know.

I've found that people are either really generous during the holidays or really, really cheap. Unfortunately really, really cheap seems to be the norm.

Ashley said...

I hear ya. The verbal tip abound during the holidays!

(love your blog btw, check mine out too!)