|Yeah, kind of like this.|
At the same time I had an average family of five. Three teenaged daughters, driving their two parents crazy. Typical for my restaurant. The mother did most of the talking, but they were all polite and nice enough. Their food came out quickly, they told me everything as great. One of the girls dropped her cell phone under the table and crawled underneath to retrieve it, complaining about how dark it was. Yes, under the table. But instead of pointing out we don't light the gum-riddled underside of tables, I offered my cell phone with the flashlight app to help her out. Mom thought that was sweet. They didn't have dessert; the girl with the phone hadn't eaten any of her $13 meal and asked for a box. When I came back with the box, the dad handed me $90 and said they didn't need change. Their bill was $86.45. Fuck. You. I got a bit of satisfaction from throwing away the daughter's uneaten, forgotten meal.
Then there were the $5 on $65 people -- and they got a free steak because they complained about it after eating it. And tonight's $7 on $76 for absolutely waiting on four people hand and foot for two hours during the dinner rush. I could go on but it just gets depressing.