SIR YES SIR.

I had a table of four tonight, two older couples. I could tell one of them was going to be a pain in the ass from the start--he wouldn't stop talking over me and everyone else trying to order, trying to get him to answer questions was a nightmare, and he was snide with his wife when she ordered.

Still, he wasn't anything more than obnoxious until after an hour after they'd paid their tab and were still sitting there. I was heading toward my table when he gestured me over. Before I could even open my mouth, he says, "Complimentary coffee. Black." Just like that. Flat. Not a question, not a request--an order. To give him something free.

I gaped at him for a moment, and was half a second away from saying, "Are you serious?" Instead I looked at his friends and said without a smile, "He's demanding, huh?"

If he'd just asked, I wouldn't have even considered ringing up the coffee--it's too much of a pain in the ass for $1.30 when I'm trying to get my sidework done. Because he was so commanding about it, I nearly did ring a ticket, just to piss him off. But I decided I'd rather spend my time in the back, finishing up my kitchen work, than wandering by the table waiting for them to be ready to check out the extra ticket. So I gave him the coffee, and told him not to tell my boss I would giving away things free or I'd be fired. Not true, but I hope it made him feel like an asshole.

They hung around for yet another hour, and they did tip me more than I expect--$13 on a $60 ticket. Still--wtf? Did he really give me a command to give him something free?