Things that have been in my bra this week (other than the obvious).

• Ranch dressing--thank you, helpful customers, for stacking all those ramekins up so they'd slide off the plate on the way to the kitchen!
  
• A ton of water that sloshed out of a glass on the way to the kitchen.
• Salsa. Oh, the splatter.
  
• Bleu cheese (vomit).
• A cherry tomato--I'm pretty sure the cook was aiming at somebody else and I walked in the way. He better have been aiming at somebody else.
  
• Half a mozzarella stick. That can happen when you eat while dashing in to the kitchen.
• Strawberry milkshake--see above.
  
• The magnetic back of my nametag.
• An earring back.
• An earring.
• A sugar packet--I was pulling a basket of sugar packets off a high shelf and caused an avalance.
  
• A pen that started out clipped to my polo collar.
• Ice cubes--my friend scored a cleavage basket. With an entire scoop of ice she threw at me. I may have been holding the neck of my shirt out, daring her. Who knows.

Between the aerosolized grease, the running around in the heat, and the fact that my chest has apparently become a lint trap, it's no wonder I feel like I need to shower in bleach when I get home.