One of our late night things now is bingo. Yes, bingo. I guess we're just beginning for Helmet Hair-types in come in with this kind of stuff.
She and her husband came in for bingo this week; I'm the bingo bitch, so I had the misfortune of having to even acknowledge her existence. A few minutes after she came in, I saw her flagging down CL. For a good five minutes CL was trapped there, listening to Helmet's bitching. I knew right away it was about me--I could just tell from the look on her face. When I heard her shriek something about "sat there for twenty minutes!" I considered it verified.
Once CL finally got away, I asked her. I figured it I approached her about it, she'd be less likely to go off on me later, after all. She didn't even seem irritated, kept telling me it was fine, so I guess Helmet caught her on a good day.
Basically, the woman told her I was short with her and that as soon as they said they weren't ordering food my entire demeanor changed. Well, yeah! It changed from ready to take order to gathering menus and moving along to the next table! But I made very sure to smile as I took their wasted menus, and I made sure their drinks were filled most of the time. I had other tables to take care of, after all, all of whom were being demanding.
But apparently, I was rude and inattentive and sarcasm and basically the sheer incarnation of evil. Helmet also said that her son-in-law sat down and waited for twenty minutes before he finally got up and asked the bartender for a beer. Because, you know, all servers just vanish for long stretches of time when they have four or five tables to take care of! I made constant laps around the damn bar area that night--the first time I saw him I approached the table and saw he had a beer in his hand already. So most likely I was talking an order within sight of the bitch and he just decided to go see the bartender himself--probably in the hopes I wouldn't charge him for that beer!
So yeah, five minutes of bitching because she didn't think they got adequate service on their $8 tab. Helmet Hair and her husband went out for a cigarette between bingo rounds, and because I'm a considerate person I stopped her before she tripped over something that fell in her way. She completely ignored me, stepped over it, and went outside.
After that, I wanted to surreptitiously look at their cards to see if there was a number they had in common--so I could remove that number from the final prize round (worth a lot of cash, actually). But I didn't. Instead, I took great, if petty, satisfaction from the fact that she and her husband didn't win a single round of bingo that night. I like to think it's because the universe realizes that they suck.