Okay, okay, I'm back! Sorta. My brain is still trying to ignore the fact that I'm back to my regular life.
The bastard corporate monkeys have added yet another layer of stress to our lives. This shouldn't surprise me, of course. Basically, they've implemented a system of tracking our upsells. That in itself isn't that big a deal. What is a big deal is that instead of being a tool for rewarding us, they're using it as punishment.
They're now tracking us day by day and week by week. If over a two week period, my upsell percentage (upsell items/number of customers) is below the store's average, I have to go to a buttcrack-of-dawn meeting and "learn" how to make it better. If my percentage doesn't improve within two weeks after that, I get written up. If it still doesn't improve two weeks after that .... I no longer get to work. Yep, they're now threatening to fire people for not selling enough.
Thing is, the whole "the beatings shall continue until morale improves" part of this plan is optional. CL has chosen to inflict that on us. And here's what she can't seem to wrap her brain around: what the fuck an average is! Say all those steps are followed and five people below the average get fired. What happens, then, to the average? Oh yeah, it goes up! And that means new people are under the average, and new people are getting harassed!
I tried to point that out and got a blank stare in return.