Tuesday, June 21, 2011

A message from the restaurant gods.

And I think that message is “Hahaha, FUCK YOU!”

I went in to work feeling happy and chipper. I'd had a few days off, I'd gotten a haircut, and I was feeling cuter than usual. I had a decent section, and we were relatively busy. We had a wait for about three hours, actually, and everybody else was pretty much drowning in money.

I left with 35 bucks, because I got $3 on $57, $2 on $42, $1 on $37, $0 on $22, $2 on $30 from a table that stayed three hours, and one other absolutely atrocious one I can't remember now. The rest of my tips were ten percent. Why? Who the fuck knows? It was just my turn it get fucked, I guess, because all the white trash, old, teenaged, Mexican, coupon-bearing crotch-spawn overloaded bitchy motherfuckers got put in my section.

(Sorry for the racism, ageism, and other -isms in the last sentence. I don't profile when it comes to anything but tips, but anybody who waits tables for five minutes will tell you that those are the groups most likely to fuck you over.)

I actually left in tears because I was so angry. I did not fuck up once the entire evening, not so much as a forgotten side of ranch, and for that I made $35 on $550 in sales? Which freaking loa did I piss off? Do I need to sacrifice a chicken or some shit?


Little Miss Me said...

I always feel sorry for whoever serves me and my friends at a restaurant, as students we just can't afford to tip much at all, I would offer an interpretive dance displaying the offering of money but I think that would just take up time and the sooner we leave the better I guess...

theblonde said...

It's not just you.
I feel like I've just been getting 10% for about two weeks now.
I'm pretty sure it's not me, so what the fuck?

Anonymous said...

If you can't afford to tip much at all, what makes you think you can afford to be eating out? Most places also have carry-out options which is a problem solver. Also, if you don't tip well never dance, or tell someone that they did a great job or anything that you think is making up for lack of money because it just pisses people off more when they see the amount of the tip!

DMT said...

Slayer got it wrong God doesn't hate us all he just hates people who have to work with the public. You go through life smilling being nice and resisting the urge to punch people in the face and for what? To be treated like shit and just about able to put food on the table. If I was in charge of Ireland I'd abolish prison and make it so criminals had to work checkouts and wait tables as punishment for their crimes and promote the former holders of those jobs to prison wardens with a decent wage.

Kitty said...

My week's been like that, too. Who knows, maybe it's just the summertime kicking in, and people are trying to pinch their pennies where they can. (Which sparks the debate of if-you-can't-afford-to-tip-don't-eat-out, but that's a whole other ball of cat poop.)

keep your chin up.
The law of averages says we're all due for some better tips eventually.

P.S. The sacrificing a chicken comment made me smile. Thanks.

michelle said...

when it rains, it pours!


Under Cover said...

Sorry to bore everybody, but to the first comment: IF YOU CAN'T TIP, YOU CAN'T EAT OUT! And don't think we don't remember you; if you start getting average service you'll know why.

So sorry you had such a horrid night, purple.

I think tips are down in all regions -- even the well-heeled are "conserving."

Anonymous said...

I feel your pain and if you can't tip go.to.burger.king.period.
I had a party of 8 teens earlier and only 4 of them were eating and drinking water,of course, I was like WFT? why would you go to a restaurant if you're not eating?to watch your friends eat? to sit at my 8 top table to piss me off while I could have made way more than 10 bucks? At least I grat'ed them other wise I wouldn't have made jack shit.I do profile when it comes to my tables because IT IS WHAT IT IS.

Anonymous said...

I have 2 teenaged daughters, and I made sure to tell them that they, as a group, tend to depress servers because of their demographic. As a result of this, they try not to be obnoxious, they NEVER order to the limit of their funds, and they always leave at least 20%.

Little Miss Me, if you cannot afford to leave a tip, you are asking your server to take care of you for free. Think about having to work for free and having to be nice about it the next time you and your friends go out to dinner.

Anonymous said...

Addendum to comment for clarity's sake:

Little Miss Me, your profile says you are in the UK, so your untipped server is working for minimum wage as opposed to free here in the states. Servers here get paid under $3.00/hour, which usually goes to taxes. Thus an untipped server here pays her wages to the taxes on what you were supposed to have tipped her, and she served you for free.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, I live in California, and here, tips are a bonus on top of an actual minimum wage (not this 2 or 3 dollar minimum wages either, but like, $8 minimum wage...hell, I have a friend who is a server that makes $12 an hour) so I totally admit that I'm a stingy tipper...why? Because if you're already getting paid a decent wage to do your job, then the tip is for going above and beyond: like, no empty drinks, not forgetting anything, being nice and sociable, checking back regularly, not making me look around for you when I need something, etc.

If someone does a really good job, I have absolutely no qualms tipping %20+ percent for their hard work, but if someone just does the absolute basics of their job then it might be just %10; I'm also not opposed to leaving absolutely nothing if someone totally sucks at their job...though I'm certainly not the type to complain to the manager just to get free shit or sink a waiter/waiterss for something that wasn't their fault.

I get that in the states that only pay wait staff $2-3 per hour because they expect them to get tips on top of that that tipping is essential, but not here...here, it is a bonus for going above and beyond and that's exactly how I treat it. I read in another blog where someone said that even if the waiter is terrible you should still tip them AT LEAST %10...hahaha! No way would I do that here; other states, maybe (depending on exactly how bad they were), but certainly not here.

Tendingtotheleft said...

You sound like a real jerk. So just because the enlightened state of California (and good for it) insists on paying servers a decent wage you think it's OK to stiff them on the tip. Because, you know, $8 an hour is such a princely sum! And $12 an hour -- yea, we're talking hookers and Chiroc at that fat income, right?

Give me a break. Tightwads like you will always find an excuse to stiff a server, and I feel bad for anyone who has to wait on your cheap, self-important, probably endlessly complaining, self. But don't worry, it comes with the territory and we're used to it. You ain't nothing new.

Anonymous said...

And you sound like a right douche-bag yourself : )

Fact is, wait-staff in this state (and others in this country, but I'm not going to list them all off) get paid a wage to do their job and a tip is a bonus on top of that...I believe Purple girl even said so herself quite awhile back when a Canadian got confused about the whole tipping issue because it works the same way there as here. I'm not going to tip someone just for doing their job...I'm going to tip them when they go above and beyond because that is the point of their tip.

I get sick and tired of dealing with waiters who think that the public owes them something and start expecting a tip when they've done nothing to deserve it (and I'm still talking about California here). I've had friends who were waiters and waitresses and one in particular would get pissed as hell if anyone dared tip her less than %15 and she was a HORRIBLE waitress.

As for all your judgemental statements about the type of person I MUST be just because of what I said before...they couldn't be more wrong. I eat out a lot and I can probably count the number on only ONE hand of the times I have actually left ZERO tip and trust me, it was deserved. In my entire life, I've probably sent food back one time and I was polite about it and I've certainly never raised a fuss or asked to speak with a manager just to get free stuff...I despise people who do that. I generally try to be genial with whoever is waiting on me because I work in public service and I hate dealing with the public because I know what it feels like to be treated like their whipping-girl so I can sympathize with what they go through...however, that doesn't mean that they get a tip just for doing the most basic aspects of their job. I certainly don't get a tip for doing my job and neither do probably 90% of the other employees out there. For me, tips reflect service...service sucks = tip sucks, pretty simple, but just because I have that philosophy on the subject doesn't mean I feel all service sucks and only give out crap tips. Hell, to give an example, a friend and I went to our favorite sushi restaraunt the other night and the owners and sushi chefs were so awesome and nice to us we left a %40 tip and wished we could have left more...but you're right, I'm just like every other stingy asshole you've ever had to deal with *rolls eyes*

Margaret said...

I think Anonymous protests too much.

Pat the Rat said...

Anonymous is a cheap tipper with justification. The more he explains the more pissed off I am! I tip well and still I can be a jerk asking for shit on the side. Sorry purple girl!

P. F. Blogger said...

I had a jerk friend like Anonymous there. He had crappy views on tipping too. He used to stiff the wait staff when we went out to eat, until we called him on it a few times.

The funny part of the story is, one day he found himself out of a job. He asked me to put in a good for him at the restaurant, and then was hired. It must have been barely a week before all his views on tipping did a 180°. My hope for Mr. Anonymous there, is that one day he too finds himself working in the restaurant industry. I'd be surprised if he lasted a month.

Anonymous said...

WHITE TRASH WHORE!!!! You're going to call out hard working Mexican's for not tipping you for shitty service? You say you hate the job well we can tell. You probably ignore us thinking opening your legs up every night makes you better. No it makes you a WHORE. They're the ones who expect money for doing very little so that's what you must be doing. Go any place where Mexican's work and I can guarantee you'll see what real work is. You couldn't last a day in a real job. You need more money then get a real job or pick up more hours. Work two shifts and blame hard workers makes you a lousy all around person.