Sometimes I feel like trying to make tips is impossible for me. I feel like I give off a “don't tip me! Really!” vibe or something. It gets extremely annoying when my coworkers are walking with $100 on the same night I barely make $40. And it's truly not because I'm a bad server, goddamn it! I'm not talking about the nights I do poorly because I'm sucking at my job for one reason or another. I'm talking about overall, about nights when I'm at my cheerful perky perfect best.
So what the fuck? Is it like when people won't give homeless people money because they think they'll buy booze, only they think if they tip me I'll just buy baby-flavored doughnuts and get even fatter? Do I smell funny? Did someone curse me? I don't fucking get it.
I've decided upon a couple of tactics to combat this. The first is to just try to make myself stand out a little more. Corporate, of course, likes to specify every fucking thing down to the color of our undergarments (no, I'm not kidding). But the things they don't specify, I am going to fucking exploit, bitches! I wrote before about putting special buttons on my work shirt for that exact reason. They don't tell us how many bracelets we can wear, either.
And the things they specify that CL isn't a hardass about, I'm also going to exploit. For example, our earrings are supposed to be less than an inch long and no bigger than a quarter. Every once in a while CL goes through a phase where she decides to be all hardass about it, but for now I'm wearing my funky earrings. I'm also wearing my necklaces, rings, and bracelets more. I have a fuckton of jewelry that I haven't been wearing, so I might as well start again.
Eventually I'm going to make another cover to put on my serving book. My printer's dead, so I'll have to make up an image file and take it to Walgreens to print or something. I stopped because I felt like it was juvenile to have pictures of my favorite band on my book, but fuck that. Or maybe I'll put baby pictures of my cousins so people will assume they're my kids! Ha!
The other thing I'm doing seems almost contradictory. I've decided to stop being so fucking cheerful. I'm obviously not going to walk around showing my grumpy colors to everyone, either. I'm going to basically try to be calm and polite, because I think when I was cheery and perky people could tell it was fake. Not always; sometimes I really was in a cheerleader mood. But most of the time it was my waitress persona I'd slid in to thinking that's how I needed to be. So I'm trying to be more natural, relaxed.
I'm also considering starting to wear makeup again. Sigh. I hate wearing makeup. I forget it's there and smudge the crap out of it. I'm allergic to everything so my eyes itch nonstop, which makes mascara a real bitch. If I do decide to do the makeup thing again, I am so dyeing my eyelashes instead of fucking with mascara. I think I do get slightly better tips when I wear the crap, but god it's just such a hassle!
So far these things seem to be working. Here's hoping it wasn't just a temporary upswing, because I don't know what to do otherwise.