So it turns out there's a reason for me being at work until midnight on Tuesday, but only having three tables after first cut and only making $50. And that reason is, I work with douchebags.
One of those douchebags decided he didn't want to take any more tables. So he told the hostess that we were down to closers--which meant only one side of the place got sat, which fucked me and Wide-eyes over completely.
I thought Lapdog's head was going to pop right the fuck off his neck when he heard that, he went off on the people involved! And then apologized to me for it, much to the disgust of Wide-eyes, who he also bitched out about something. Ha!