Thursday, July 1, 2010

Good and bad on the uniform front.

In time I've worked for this company, they've changed the uniform an absolutely stupid number of times. And they're changing it yet again this summer! They just changed it last summer. I was hoping they'd revert to last year's uniform: blue jeans and the same black shirts we've worn for a couple of years.

Well, I got half of my wish. We are going back to jeans, which freaking thrills me! But of course they couldn't leave the shirts alone, so now I have to replace my stack of shirts. And naturally they're not going to provide said shirts, so it's going to cost me money to replace them.

And, naturally, they've chosen a shirt that's going to be a massive pain in the ass to find. You wouldn't think a black button-up shirt would be difficult, and maybe if you're a dude it's not. But if you're a woman with tits over a B cup, you're screwed--at least when they specify "fitted" shirts! I already know what's going to happen: any shirt I can find that's fitted enough to satisfy them is going to be so tight in the chest it's going to pop open and show my bra, and then I'll get in trouble for that! Fucking stupid is what it is.

They have loosened up on some things, which is great. For example, the new uniform code states that "one studded nose ring" is acceptable - it doesn't even say it has to be clear or flesh-tone. That will be a relief to half the staff. Also, visible tattoos are okay until they're "offensive". So at least I can strike "long enough sleeves not to show any hint of shoulder tattoo" off the list of characteristics for new shirts.

And then there's random stuff like hair must be a natural shade, and even if it is a natural color highlights have to be natural-looking. Earrings can't be bigger than a quarter -- but it doesn't say anything about length. One ring per hand, but no specification on bracelets or necklaces -- just not "inconsistent with the image we wish to portray". Oh, and no "excessive clips in hair." But my personal favorite is "socks may not show ankle skin". WTF? So holes in the nose and ink in the skin is okay, but ankle skin is illicit?


Donda said...

It sounds like they took their uniform code straight from the school system...I can't believe that you can wear black on black because that could be interpreted as "soldiering up". If you can't tell I hate uniforms's like a sick conformist occult! I don't care what you wear as long as your nails are clean and my food is hot!

Anonymous said...

i've been reading your blog for a while but never commented…just had to share my sympathy on finding a black button up, especially in the middle of the summer! most girls i worked with wore mens shirts but if they have to be fitted, i suggest target, that's where i found mine. so stupid though, and they fade so easily! also go out and buy the detergent for black clothes, it's a little more expensive but makes your shirts last so much longer! good luck!

yellowcat said...

What do they even mean that socks may not show ankle skin? Don't even low rise socks usually cover ankles? I'm confused.

Squishy said...

Have no fear your Squishy is here! Being of the fat and boobied title myself, you new best friend would recommend Lane Bryant or Avenue. If you sign up for the Lany Bryant card, they give 20 percent off your first purchase.

They enforced the ring standard on me two months ago when I got married because I have my engagement and then my wedding band, both of which I WILL NOT weld together. I like choosing either or or both. I took it to corporate and said I would not let them infringe on my religious right to show that I had joined myself in religious matrimony to my wonderful, god fearing husband (I'm agnostic and he was raised Presbyterian). Least to say after I went nuts over them telling me to remove one, I told them to go ask a list of 25 different female staff to go remove their's as held them off till I could get the letter to corporate. You would love my ring, PurpleGirl. A big saphire with two diamonds, one on each side, and then a band with three saphires with two diamons inbetween. It's huge and I keep hitting it on doors and it didn't cost the earth..hehe.

But yeah, Avenue or Lane Bryant. Plus cruise online you might get lucky. Also if they get down on your about "fitted" tell them you got titties and refure to whore yourself out, God doesn't appreciate cleavage.

Writer Revisor said...

Alas, another store a part of a corporate uniform regime. Sorry about the changes.

I can sympathize. My store requires white button up shirts. On top of it being terrible in the summer; I've had the unfortunate luck of being caught in the rain (several occasions. Think: Wet t-shirt contest).

The corporate monkeys don't realize, that they shouldn't fix what isn't broken!

Dragonfly said...

I can't comment on the sanity of any of the other requirements, but as far as earrings, rings, and bracelets... those can actually be state health standards.In general, earrings larger than the size of a quarter tend to have dangly parts. Cheaper earrings have dangly parts that can fall off without your knowledge... and those can fall into foods. Instead of mandating that your earrings be of good quality - because, really, who determines quality? - they simply say no earrings bigger/longer than a quarter. Those are most likely to not have parts you wouldn't notice falling off your ear.

Same with bracelets - you really shouldn't wear them because they can get into food. And rings can get dirty with food, but they can't take away your right to wear a wedding band, so "one ring per hand" covers that.

Clips might also fall into this... if you use a cheap clip, it could come undone and fall/fly into food.

The rest of it is most likely just corporate preference. Try goodwill for shirts - you never know what you'll find, and if you do find something, it'll be insanely cheap. It can at least last you until fall clothes come out and there's a bigger selection of black tops.

Anonymous said...

I always ordered my black button ups from Target. It's the Merona Poplin black button ups. They're pretty cheap, less than $15 or $20. I got them online because they're not available in stores in the summer. Also, I have D cups and they worked fine enough.

purplegirl said...

Thanks for the suggestions for finding shirts everyone -- Squishy, LB was the first place I hit! I used to work there, and god do I miss my employee discount! Unfortunately they have exactly one style right now and it didn't work. Oh well, I've got until the end of August now! Love the ring story, too. Excellent subversion. :)

Yellowcat, I have no idea what they're talking about!

Dragonfly, you might be right, although other restaurants I worked at didn't have those kinds of restrictions. Maybe it's just easier to make a blanket code to address any states that DO have those specific regulations. Why think of individual cases, right? :)

And Snide Server, I am soooooo grateful they didn't go for white for that exact reason!

Logan said...

Again...absolutely positive we work for the same company lol! They hung the sign up at my work yesterday but in our region it says we can wear any type of "tasteful" black shirts from polo's to plain black haines t-shirts. If I can ask without ruining your anonymity, do you work for a franchise or one of the strictly corporate run stores?

purplegirl said...

Logan, I'm not really sure which we are! It's changed so much, with the company changing hands, that I've lost track. Although if you can wear any sort of black shirt, I'd guess you're a franchise and we're corporate, since ours specifies the type etc.

Manda said...

I hate uniforms. We have to wear oxford blue button ups with a "bright" undershirt that will be showing. Has to be like eye piercing neon yellow or hot pink or anyother color that is not black, white, gray or dul! Then black pants and to top it al off- brightly colored sneakers! I think sneakers with black pants look so trashy but apparently it doesn't. That's our summer look! I bet you can gues where I work, it's a chain too.

Squirrel said...

And if you are still having trouble the the shirt issue - I had the same problem a few years ago. I went out and bought men's shirts anyway, but had a friend alter them a bit so they looked like a fitted women's shirt. It doesn't take much - just take in a bit on either side, and there you go.