Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Retards in the house.

(Okay, so the reason my blog archive disappeared .... I got freaked out because someone in my town was reading, and I convinced myself it was someone I knew. Everything is saved and backed up; I'm thinking about whether to re-upload it or not. I may do some serious editing first. We'll see. For now, enjoy a new story.)

I had some really smart people in my section last night. The first one was this snotty, skanky bitch at a table of five. My first clue she was a moron was when I asked her what she wanted to drink and she stared at me as if I were asking her a complex algebra equation. The kicker was when she ordered the southwestern burger.

"Would you like your burger medium or well done?" I asked.
"It's a burger?"


The second genius was eating with her grandmother, mother, and two sisters. She was probably mid-twenties. I was walking by and overheard grandma pointing at her neck and saying something like, "the parathyroid is under your thyroid."

Genius said, "Your thyroid is in your neck? I thought it was in your leg!"

Oh lord.


The Restaurant Manager said...

Sounds like you had some real interesting folks in your section last night!

Anonymous said...

Long time reader, first time commenter... :)

Seriously? Someone asked if the Southwestern BURGER was a burger? Faith in humanity goes down a little more...

DMT said...

I know your pain purple girl there are some people who after the tenth time attempting to explain company policy etc to them you feel like saying "Come here, I'll get my tool box so I can chisel away some of that thick skull of yours!"

btw thanks for your well wishes for my holiday ;)

purplegirl said...

Okay, I was either sleep typing or I missed something I shouldn't have. Holiday?

DMT said...

I posted Anonymously last time I didnt notice the name/url option it was on the one about the gobshite who tried to justify being a tight ass and said fuck all the waitresses

Anonymous said...

Some people really are just dumb but I have to admit that I've been there with the thyroid confusion myself, and I feel like I'm a pretty intelligent person. If you've never seen it written and are just hearing someone talk about it, it's easy to think they're saying "thigh-roid". Of course, I believe I was in high school when I learned what a thyroid actually was, but that's neither here, nor there. :-)
On another note, I think if you deleted the employee descriptions from your blog, that you'd be safe. As far as I've read, you've never mentioned the name of your restaurant or their corporate owner, you've never said where you're located, and you don't refer to your fellow workers by their actual names. The roll call link was the most specific thing you had on here. So even if someone stumbled across it and figured it out, I'm not sure that legally you could be fired over it. I could be totally wrong, but that's my opinion. Love you blog btw. :-)