Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Less flaming assholery.

Tonight's customers were largely inoffensive, and thank god for that. If I'd had to go through a fifth day of dickery I might have absolutely lost it! Tonight's only fuckfaced dickwad was the guy who stiffed me on a $55. He didn't believe that I'd brought him the right margarita because it wasn't the exact same color as the picture in the menu.

Thankfully the rest of my tables didn't suck quite so much. I still made a lot less than the other closer -- she rakes in $20 tips constantly, and I really can't figure out why there's such a difference. I really feel like I just give off a "don't worry, you don't have to tip me!" vibe.

In other news, I found out that one of the other servers is engaged to Native's brother. So I asked her if Native is, well, native. She laughed and said "No, she's just kinda weird."


Verity Vaudeville said...

I get that these customers want what they asked for, and a decent standard of service, but to act like a belligerent five year old the minute something isn't right. Or doesn't look right, is just ridiculous. They seem to forget that we who serve them are people too. It's not our fault that the photo or small print to a special offer has not been read correctly. The right bits taken note of. And then to be tipped an insulting amount just makes you want to tip their table over. Yeah how about that for a tip asshole??

At least you can annihilate them in your head :)

SkippyMom said...

A stiff on a 55 dollar check because he is colorblind - I would follow him into the parking lot and explain that he just cost me to serve him. And then file for unemployment when I got fired.

I kid - but I would want to so bad. That is just a bad joke.

The margarita was just an excuse to not tip. If it hadn't been that then the fries would've been too salty or the coke too sweet or the fork had a water spot. They are out there and they pick the most idiotic things to reason no tip.

And the native just makes me laugh.

Malachi the Cocktail Slinger said...

I hear "native" and from the way you describe this poor girl, I cringe and think of Ke$ha's performance on Saturday Night Live: http://www.hulu.com/watch/143266/saturday-night-live-keha-your-love-is-my-drug

Enjoy! Oh, and don't be jealous, the other closer is probably robbing people blind and really sucks at her job....maybe...a possibility.

DAMMIT! I'm just trying to be encouraging!

Candice said...

Love reading your blog. Keep up the good work! you've inspired me to start my own blog (dunno if the world needs another bitchy server online, but i thought i would!) I've added you to my blogroll :)

Pancake Grrrl said...

Maybe the other closer is LYING about her tips. I used to (briefly) work with a dumbass who lied about his tips every shift. A Thursday night dinner at our restaurant is usually a max. $100 shift if everything goes well and you know exactly what you're doing. He would make sure to tell the other servers, "I'm having an awesome night! I've only been on for 2 hours and I've already made $180!"

He was pissing everyone off with his bullshit, so we just started telling him, "I know, right! The money here is great! I'm thinking after this shift, I'll be able to take tomorrow off!"

Put that in your pipe. Asshole.