Basically, he had an upgrade done on his equipment. And he was throwing a complete FIT because the technician who did the install took the old equipment with him. Said equipment was owned by the company, but he was absolutely fucking insisting it belonged to him. I tried to explain that his other equipment was leased, and so was this particular item. He went off into a tirade about how it was his, the guy shouldn't have taken it, he's been with the company for three years, so that item was HIS! He just kept saying "it's MINE, it's MINE!" over and over.
I tried another way. I told him that if he had actually bought everything for his installation, he would have paid almost a thousand dollars, but he didn't pay for it, because it was still our property. "No! It's MINE! I've been with you for three years!" he said. I told him that doesn't matter, there was nothing in his contract stating that the equipment became his after a certain time period. He went into a rant about how he had another cable company, and when he left them he kept all the equipment. Again, I said they might have had different policies (bullshit, he bought it outright, he had to have), but he never paid us for that equipment.
"It's MINE! He should not have taken it! It's MINE!"
So I offered to send him to the department that deals with contracts, and could send him a copy of the contract so he could see exactly what it said about the equipment. Insert tirade repeating everything he previously said here. Again I apologized he was upset and said again that I could get him to the contract department. Insert tirade repeating everything he previously said here again. I finally stopped saying I could transfer him and just said I was going to do it now. "Okay," he said, "insert tirade repeating everything he previously said here again." The next time I just said I was doing it and hit the button right away.
Normally I'd have put him on the line with Frat Boy ... but he was home sick, so my entire team was flying blind. Because I already knew the contract department wasn't going to tell him anything differently, and technically they could put me down for an incorrect transfer. But this guy wasn't going to be satisfied unless I got him to someone higher up.
When the contract department picked up, the agent started making small talk and asked how my day was. I said fine and asked about his, and he said, "It's been ...... interesting."
I laughed. "Oh, it's about to get more interesting."
"Oh god, what now?" he said. When I told him there was a long silence. "But .... it's our equipment."
"Exactly. He thinks after three years it's his, which is why I thought if you sent him the contract maybe it would prove that, because he just won't listen."
The guy laughed and told me to send him through. I love the contract department. They're never bitchy to me!