Saturday, February 15, 2014

Release the hounds!

Last night was a pretty typical pizza delivery night except my very last delivery. I knocked on the door and heard several dogs barking on the other side, and then someone's footsteps. I expected the usual muffled yells of "get back, get back!" and to be standing around waiting for someone to get their hounds under control.

Times three. Sniffing ferociously and whomping me with their tails.
Instead, the door was flung open as a woman yelled, "Get 'im!" and three fucking enormous German Shepherds came bounding out and began enthusiastically sniffing me.

Now, I'm not afraid of dogs, especially not big ones - I grew up with Rottweilers. Being jostled off my feet by three noses on legs normally wouldn't phase me as all. But as one of her dogs stuck his nose in my crotch, I found myself staring speechlessly at this woman, wondering what the fuck just happened? Did she really just sic her dogs on me, sort of?

To her credit, she stared at me just as speechlessly for several seconds and then began apologizing over and over. "I thought it was one of his friends!" she said, pointing at her son. "I'm so sorry! I didn't expect it to be you at all!"

Maybe look through the peephole next time.


Chad Foster said...

Hi purplegirl --

I created a waiter/waitress card game called Tips!. I'd like to chat with you about it, and see if it would be a good fit for your blog. My email address is (direct link to the card game site is I can also be reached at

A link to the game is on Kickstarter here:

Thank you

Anonymous said...

Omg.That was hilarious. I really needed a good laugh.