Friday, June 25, 2010

Lying liars who yell across the restaurant.

About a week ago, I had a verrrry pleasant customer.

Actually, they started out fine. A husband and wife, they seemed pleasant enough, even though they had insisted on taking up a five-person round table for themselves. The guy was thrilled to find out that we had a really cheap, white trashy beer on tap.

And then I forgot to ring their food in for about five minutes. But they had an appetizer coming, and fly onion rings only take three minutes, so I wasn't worried. It still wasn't an extraordinary wait, considering the place was full and we had a wait at the door.

But right before their rings came up, I stopped at their table for drink refills and was asked by the wife "what happened to our appetizer!" Which just pisses me off -- "can you please check on our appetizer?" is the correct way to ask that question.

I just smiled and said the kitchen was running a little slow, but I'd go check right away. Thirty seconds later I was back with said onion rings, and things seemed fine. Then I realized I'd ordered the wrong chicken on one of their salads -- but again, I caught it soon, it wasn't going to be a delay. So I was surprised a few minutes later when CL came up to me with her face all red and practically shaking.

Apparently this jackass saw her walking by tables on the other side of the bar from him and screaming "HEY! Are you the manager? WHERE'S MY DINNER?"

Keep in mind they'd been waiting maybe fifteen minutes on a busy night! And CL was embarrassed and shaky and upset. I don't know why, if anyone should've been embarrassed it was the douchebag yelling across the restaurant! He said they'd been waiting half an hour (wrong, but people always exaggerate that) and that they'd asked me where their food was and I'd "shown no concern" and not answered them!

That right there pisses me off -- when people fucking lie about me it makes me furious. They had ignored my drive-bys and smiles, and definitely not spoken to me. Is it possible they talked to somebody else who didn't bother to check? Maybe -- but I was the only short fat blonde chick there that night, nobody else was even close to looking like me.

So at this point I'm pissed, CL is pissed and not really believing me that I only forgot to ring things in for five minutes and that I had not actually spoken to them. She bought the fuckers' entire meals, including their drinks, and totally had a spaz attack in the kitchen.

When the assholes got their food, they'd been waiting a total of 25 minutes.


JumpIt said...

Doesn't she check ticket times first before she completely comps their meal??? The other day we had someone waiting on a WELL done steak for only 12 minutes on a packed friday night do the same thing. First thing my mod checked was the actual ticket time, since this lady said it had been 40 minutes since.

Hellraiser said...

Arrrrr, this is one of my most hated things, the exaggeration of time waited and the complete oblivion to what is actually happening around them in a busy night. Arrogant arsehole customers, who treat us like shit, then we get the bollocks from the boss when we were just trying to do the job, WTF? :)

tipsfortips said...

We have one of those handy Open Table host systems at work. It is awesome. It keeps track of the exact time a table was sat. This keeps us everybody honest. Nothing better than a table that has "waited half an hour to be greeted" when the computer shows 3 minutes.

TheGirlisAlright said...

Wow. Just Wow.

Squishy said...

People are monkeys...ocassionally they throw crap at each other. I, on the other hand, am human, and I have opposable thumbs and no urge to throw my fecal matter at others...most of the time.

fuckmytable said...

I had a couple just like this not too long ago.

I have server rants, too, if you want to link to me. I've already linked to you because I just found your blog and have enjoyed reading it thus far.

Have a good weekend...I'll be at work, woo hoo. -_-

teleburst said...

It's ironic that you chose Trump for your picture. I know that it was a pretty logical choice, but he's actually one of the ones that has advocated for good tipping practices and for giving servers the respect that they deserve:

Just thought I'd give The Donald the props that he deserves!

yellowcat413 said...

"WHERE'S MY DINNER?" HAHAHAHA! My standard response to 'Where's my..." questions is, "If it was up your ass, you'd know."

Our computer prints the time the order was logged in. When people start bitching about how long they've waited I look at their ticket and say, "Well, you ordered at 6:20 and it's what, 6:30 now...?" I screw my tip, but it keeps the manager from getting involved.

I also love when they complain about how long they've been waiting for a table. That time is logged right beside their name. "You've been waiting 30 minutes? It says here that your name was added to the list 10 minutes ago."

Now how about a nice glass of shut the hell up.

purplegirl said...

We do have the ability to look up ticket times -- but CL thought I'd forgotten to ring it in for longer than I did, so she didn't think it was accurate. Grrr.

Teleburst, you're right -- I've read that about him before. He was just the first picture that came up with I did an image search for yelling. :)

And fuckmytable - welcome. Just from your name, I'm assuming I'll get a kick out of your blog!

Guy said...

I was cocktailing in a huge hotel lounge one evening - the place was packed - and a man at the far end of the room stood up and screamed, "Waiter! Waiter!" and someone else on the other side stood up and yelled, "Wait longer! Wait longer!" God bless those regulars!