Friday through Monday were decent nights--an oasis in the shittiness of my job, so to speak. But people just have to piss me off, don't they?
My very first table were total assholes. The wife demanded something not on the menu; the husband seemed to think he needed to reiterate to me that she couldn't eat much. Fine, whatever. I was annoyed, but not angry yet. They commented on me having waiting on them before and being a good waitress--I knew right then my tip was going to be shit.
When they finished their dinner, I asked about dessert. The man already had his credit card out, and his Old Fucker Discount Card. I told him I'd be right back; got the manager to do the discount for the cheapskates--their total bill was six goddamn dollars--and went back, still trying to be as polite and professional as I could.
"There's a new copy of your receipt, and your cards," I said, reaching across the table for the last of their plates. I was still speaking when the man grabbed something from the seat next to him and started flapping it in my face.
"Guess what," he said, way too fucking impressed with himself. "look what you forgot!" he continued shaking in my face the table flyer that says if I don't offer them a gift card, they get a free dessert. My first response was to deny it--I always do the same spiel when I deliver the check--and then I realized I hadn't actually delivered the check until I'd brought the credit card, and I hadn't been given a chance to finish speaking. I was so put-off by his self-congratulatory smirking and the fact that he was mockingly shaking the thing two inches from my face that I don't know how well I controlled my facial expression.
I got them their fucking dessert, and when I brought it to them his wife sort of simpered, "Don't worry, he left you a good tip!" Right, because that $3 (their "good tip", seriously) would make up for me getting in trouble with the manager and getting written up? Luckily Bitter Divorced Man was our MOD tonight, and he didn't seem to give a damn. Of course, I might go in to a write-up on Friday, who knows.
I'm still just floored that the old bastard was shaking the thing in my face like that. What manners, huh?
My last table sucked just as much. I didn't have a great feeling about them from the beginning, but I made certain I went above and beyond for them exactly because of that. My feeling was based largely on her appearance--they were both Hispanic, but she was seriously hoochie-mama'd out with the fake gold bling, the trashy clothes, the ridiculously long fake eyelashes, and a big scrolly tattoo across her cleavage.
They seemed nice; they even joked with me a little bit, and seemed genuinly concerned when I smacked my head on a lamp while cleaning. But for $3 on $55, they can go fuck themselves.
I have two days off now, which is good. Maybe by Friday my unusual equillibrium will have returned.
7 comments:
...oh, and have some nice days off! :-)
I can't believe the schadenfreude of this guy! - Well, maybe he didn't realize you could get in trouble because you didn't offer them a gift card. But then again, isn't that ALWAYS the problem with those people? That they don't THINK?
Seriously. Sometimes old people need to be taught some manners!
The "Old F**cker Discount Card" made me spit screen - thanks for the laugh.
I hope you enjoy your two days off. You deserve them.
That freakin' guy flashin' that in my face I would have trouble controlling myself. What are some people up to! Have a good couple of days off and forget about work quickly. That is the only remedy.
Thanks guys, I am SO going to enjoy my days of freedom. :)
I can't think of a good nickname for this restaurant using punitive in the title, but they should have a sign on the wall saying:
Don't abuse our help, we already do!
look up punitive and it is defined as 'serving to punish', which is appropriate, since they are serving to punish their help by using that insidious sales tactic in the first place. I remarked on that same tactic being used at my supermarket checkout. Why find ways to trip up the help?
The glee with which the customer presented the 'I Gotcha', is again, punitive.
Then, you might get written up?
This place is like a chamber of horrors, but you already know that!
Keep your sense of humor. It will serve you well when you write your restaurant parody. You already have the cast of characters named!
On my last day, I'm going to put stickers around the place that say things like "The beatings will continue until morale improves!" :) Or some nice cheerful Demotivators, I think that'd be hilarious.
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