Tales of a waitress who escaped the restaurant industry and then discovered a desk job kind of blows - so I put the apron back on. And I deliver pizza because getting paid to drive around listening to music is pretty awesome.
I don't care if the home team won or not, control your fucking crotch spawn. Being junior squirt cheerleaders does not make them as fucking special as you think! Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
I prefer "crotch parasites" but "crotch spawn" is awesome too! I'm always especially horrifed by how some parents let their kids act in restaurants. I was NEVER, at any age, allowed to run around or scream or otherwise disturb staff or other customers. If I wouldn't quit, one of my parents took me to the car and sat with me until I calmed down and decided I'd rather be back inside coloring. I think I was 10 before my mom stopped carrying a couple sheets of paper and a box of crayons in her purse and I guarantee you I could go through her purse today and find at least some scraps of paper, a highlighter and pens in blue, black and red. It's not only common courtesy to others but it's also good for your kids to learn how to not be obnoxious in social situations and totally within the responsibilites of parents!
Stephanie, crotch parasites is great too! I stole "crotch spawn" from Ribeye, I might have to start using yours too. ;) It always amazes me how people don't take responsibility for amusing their own damn children.
I got crotch parasites from Aunt Becky at http://www.mommywantsvodka.com/. She's hilarious. I don't have many opportunities to use it but when I'm out running errands and see children acting terribly (like the 5-ish year old I saw scream, "I'm tired of your crap! Shut up!" at his mom in the middle of the grocery store...and whose mom responded by SHUTTING UP! Could. Not. Believe. It!), I have a hard time really caring because I'm giggling childishly in my head about crotch parasites.
5 comments:
"Control your fucking crotch spawn!" Possibly the most perfectly constructed sentence in restaurant history! So true.
I prefer "crotch parasites" but "crotch spawn" is awesome too! I'm always especially horrifed by how some parents let their kids act in restaurants. I was NEVER, at any age, allowed to run around or scream or otherwise disturb staff or other customers. If I wouldn't quit, one of my parents took me to the car and sat with me until I calmed down and decided I'd rather be back inside coloring. I think I was 10 before my mom stopped carrying a couple sheets of paper and a box of crayons in her purse and I guarantee you I could go through her purse today and find at least some scraps of paper, a highlighter and pens in blue, black and red. It's not only common courtesy to others but it's also good for your kids to learn how to not be obnoxious in social situations and totally within the responsibilites of parents!
Thanks BizTone. I'm rather fond of it. :)
Stephanie, crotch parasites is great too! I stole "crotch spawn" from Ribeye, I might have to start using yours too. ;) It always amazes me how people don't take responsibility for amusing their own damn children.
I got crotch parasites from Aunt Becky at http://www.mommywantsvodka.com/. She's hilarious. I don't have many opportunities to use it but when I'm out running errands and see children acting terribly (like the 5-ish year old I saw scream, "I'm tired of your crap! Shut up!" at his mom in the middle of the grocery store...and whose mom responded by SHUTTING UP! Could. Not. Believe. It!), I have a hard time really caring because I'm giggling childishly in my head about crotch parasites.
I, myself, prefer crotch droplings. heehee and I have kids.
It is the other parents that completely.ignore.their.own.children or think they are so adorable that make me want to smack someone. LOL
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