Wait, shit costs money?

One of my least favorite tables on Valentine's Day was a mere table of two. The wife was polite, but not warm or friendly; the husband was rude from the start. He wouldn't make eye contact with me, or even speak directly to me! The woman had to order for him, because he just plain wouldn't answer.

Someone else delivered their food as I was taking another order; I checked on them right afterward. The man was slumped over his plate, stuffing steak in his mouth and scowling. The wife said her ribs were cold, so I took them back and right away rang in a new order on the fly. Then I told Idiot Expo, "I need a new order of ribs on the fly, it's a recook."

Idiot Expo got all shitty with me. "You ring in more on the fly food than any other server!"

"Well, you fuck up more than any expo, so what?" I was in no mood for his shit.

"I don't, I keep this kitchen running smooth." he said with that particular kind of arrogance only a 20 year old male possesses. Whatever.

Several minutes later, I deliver the new ribs. She says they're fine, but she still didn't really eat them. Again, whatever. Pot Smoking Manager comped off both orders, so she ate for free. I explained that as I dropped off their ticket, but I wasn't entirely surprised when the called me back over.

See, like so many corporate restaurants now, we have one of those annoying-ass specials where people get a complete meal for a set price--an appetizer, two meals, and a dessert for $25, that sort of thing. They had ordered that special, and were pissed off that their bill was still about twenty bucks. Well, they'd ordered a couple of soft drinks too. So when you add up the remaining meal, the app, and the dessert (the cost is split between the items), plus the two drinks, plus tax, yeah, that's what it ends up as! They just didn't get it.

The first thing the guy said to me was, "Well that just doesn't make sense! It's supposed to be $25, you took off almost half, how is it so much!" So I explained how the total cost is divided between the items, and pointed out that they had two drinks, and where the tax was. He still said it didn't add up. So I offered to get them a calculator if they wanted to re-check it .... at which point he said he'd already added it, and it was right, but "it just doesn't make sense". He continued to bitch and moan and was so angry I just went and got PSM to talk to them. I don't get paid enough to deal with idiot fuckers like that. Especially not for their dollar tip.