Napkin panic!

Around Christmas time, we had just a delightful group of people coming in every Tuesday. Yes, that is sarcasm. Last Monday, the Bastard Conductor was back with a date, but they left at about 12:15 so I wasn't too pissed.

Tuesday night, we got a call saying that our favorite group headed by BC would be coming in at 10:15 and there would be 15 of them. I immediately told Dallas that I could not take them--I have class in the morning, I couldn't be hanging around until all hours waiting on them. So Dallas then told Anna she wouldn't close for her, which actually made everybody happy in the long run.

10:15 came and went with no sign of the dreaded party. 10:30, 10:45, 11 .... We were all thinking we'd dodged the bullet, that maybe they'd decided they didn't want to deal with the noise and chaos of trivia night. You know where this is going, right? Yeah, the motherfuckers rolled in at 11:30. They sat themselves, surprise surprise, and almost immediately started being rude. BC approached the bartender and demanded to know who was waiting on them, because "we're so thirsty!" As Anna attempted to take their drink order, they kept moving and yelling back and forth to each other between the two tables they're commandeered. She was ready to start breathing fire before they ever finished ordering their $1 beers.

Then, while she was in the kitchen pouring all the waters they wanted along with their beers, I heard one of them bitching about where she went, he was hungry! For a while, while they were waiting for their appetizers (the cheapest ones on special, of course), they were only moderately obnoxious, screeching back and forth about set design for their show or something. When their food came, Anna asked if they needed anything else. Of course, they did. Ranch and napkins and more water and more marinara and more ranch, and another order of this and more ketchup.

Thirty seconds after she walked in to the kitchen, one of these jerks stood up by his table and loudly announced, "WE NEED NAPKINS!" As if one of us lowly workers should be standing by, waiting for the opportunity to fetch His Highness whatever he might desire. I heard him, but I was two sections away cleaning the floors. When nobody came rushing to hand him napkins while licking his boots, he went to the bar.

Cali Girl, being smiley and polite, asked what he needed. He demanded napkins: "She said she would get us some, but we still don't have any!" Cali told him she'd run out, but would go the kitchen to get some after she finished making this drink. Napkin Jackass turned back to his table, where another one of them said "We still don't have napkins!"

"Well, I thought she was going to get us some! All she had to do was reach down and get them, she said she was, but I guess not!" he said this as loudly as possible; if I were Cali, I'd've turned around and stared him down. Especially when the asshole then tried to lean over the bar to get the napkins she'd just told him weren't there! Anna came out of the back, napkins in hand, as he was contorting himself over the bar. Less than a minute had elapsed since she went to the back in the first place!

I had to leave shortly after; that was at 12:30. We closed at 12, so for the last half an hour I'd been gradually turning down the music and the lights. One half of the restaurant was dark, and the music was off, when I left; Anna later told me the jerks didn't leave until after 1a.m.

And lucky me, if they come in this week it's totally my turn to take them.