Barbie and the Bug.

Yep, that's her haircut.

My store is suddenly awash in siblings. We've got Cali Girl and her sister, Accent Girl and Fud, Kate and Ally, Ashley and Madison, and now Barbie and the Bug.

I actually really liked Barbie at first. She seemed like a hard worker, like she wasn't going to get involved with all the drama, and definitely like she wasn't going to fall for CL's fake-friendly bullshit. Then I slowly noticed that she never has anything positive to say, and every time she's scheduled to close it's nothing but a whine-fest. She didn't start out looking like Barbie, either. Originally she had long loose blonde hair that was layered. Then she got this terrible haircut, all one length with blunt ends except for her bangs. Her bangs start at almost the middle of her head and cover her entire forehead, side to side and down to her eyebrows in a thick fringe. She also got a lot of different colored brown and blonde highlights, which are so precise they look terribly fake. Even she says it's a Barbie haircut.

Her sister, the Bug, started three months after Barbie, and I actually really like her (we bonded over trashy paranormal books). But she's very tall, extremely thin, and often rude, pushing herself in between people and in front to get her drinks or drop off dishes. I call her the Bug because, well, that's what she looks like: a stick insect. Not even because of her size, but because of her makeup. Her face is very small and triangular, and she unfortunately wears makeup that makes it look moreso. Every day she works, she's got on thick black eyeliner, mascara so dense it looks like she has one thick eyelash, and two shades of heavy, sparkly eyeshadow. She puts one on the inside of her eyelid, the other on the outside, and smears both all the way up to her eyebrows and out past the corner of her eyes. This makes her eyes look really small, while drawing all the attention to the top of her face. And then she's usually got her hair piled up on top of her head, too, so basically she looks like she's all eyes and hair.

Now, I try not to judge people on their appearance. She can't help that her face is shaped the way it is, just like I can't help having an oval face. But it's like people with mullet haircuts: her awful makeup is a choice. And it drives me absolutely bonkers. I want to shake Native and tell her she's not an Indian, and I want to shake the Bug and tell her that having sparkly black eyes is not attractive!