Sunday, February 1, 2009

Restaurant karma.

I've had several people talk about the idea of restaurant karma, which is basically if you get a bunch of fuckstick customers one day, another day you'll have the world's best people--basically, everything evens out.

Well... it seems to me there's a more immediate kind of restaurant karma, which bitch-slaps me all the time. This morning, I was waiting around for my first table when I saw two familiar little old ladies shuffling in. I asked the hostess not to put them in my section, because I know they order two waters, two $6 lunch combos, two hot fudge sundaes, and spend two hours taking up a booth. And then the lady who pays cash always leaves the tip, always $2, and always stuck to the table with the sticky, sugary dressing she uses a ton of always gets all over the table.

As I watched her skip me in the rotation and seat a friend of mine, I knew I'd been naughty.

A minute later, I get a two top, an old couple. The kind that talk verrrrrry slowly. I offer them an iced tea, fully expecting two waters with lemon. Not quite.
The woman says, "You know what? I'd like a glass of ice water. With about four limes! That just sounds SO good!"
Me: *mental facepalm*
Then the man says, "And I'll have water with about three lemons!"
Me: *mental facepalm, harder*

I get another two top about five minutes later. "I'll have a water with lime." "And I'll have a water with lemon!" *mental faceplantagainsthardsurface*

Later in the day, I have a lady order hot tea. This annoys me. So I don't run through the list of herbal teas we have--bitch can have regular old hot tea and like it! Her husband orders a diet soda. My very next table? A diet soda and a hot tea.

And then the rest of the day in general just sucked. I wasn't expecting much, seeing as it was Super Bowl Sunday. So I wasn't as disappointed as I could've been. But I was pretty annoyed when I had a couple of people from Mexico flat-out stiff me (and I don't mean Hispanic, I mean from Mexico, hardly any English; so I know it's just a cultural thing). And I was aggravated at the table of surly-looking people who wouldn't speak up and didn't correct me when I repeated their order to them and it was wrong because I couldn't hear .... or because they were stupid, I highly doubt she said "well" and my brain heard "medium rare"!

The Douchebag of the Day award, though, goes to the sort of scruffy looking guy in his twenties who plunked himself down in one of my booths that can hold six people. He ordered water. Nothing else. Said he was just going to "hang out and watch the game". I controlled my temper and told him if we needed the booth he'd have to move, as we only have three large ones. If he hadn't been one of only three tables in the whole place, I'd've told him to get the fuck out.

So he sits there until the middle of the fourth quarter, then slips out without leaving so much as a quarter. Now, all I did was bring him a glass of water, and once ask if he wanted more. I just think it's really inconsiderate to go to a place of business, take advantage of them paying for broadcast right, use their heat, electricity, restroom, and water, and not even acknowledge that has any value. Maybe I'm wrong.

All in all, I made about $90 for a straight-through double closing shift. Epic fail.


Steven Nicolle said...

That is one long tedious day. The guy with the water had a lot of nerve. Should have pointed him to the nearest drop in centre. Unbelievable the amount of water you served that shift and with all the lemons and limes.What is it about water and fruit anyway? I never understood that.Does it soften the water?

jacque said...

after this years superbowl i officially never want to work another one! it was one trashy family after another! i think the best tip i got all night was 7 on 135. my fave tho was 4 on 184. i just dont really understand why it was such a crappy day! was it the fact that the superbowl was on and those who chose to dine out weren't watching it? it was a dreadful shitty night and honestly knowing it wasnt just my restaurant makes it slightly ok. i guess!

purplegirl said...

My theory with the water with fruit that the people don't really LIKE water, but feel they "should" drink it, so they try to give it some other taste. We have good water at my restaurant, so I know it's not that. Personally, I like my water the god intended--more ice than water and no nasty fruit! :)

Jacque, it definitely wasn't just you. Most of the people I did have were okay tippers (nothing that stood out), but there were just so few of them!

Anonymous said...

I've never been a server, but am fascinated by the many server blogs and yours ranks among my favorite. I try not to be an annoying customer, and always tip very well, sometimes even more so when my server appears to be having a bad day, and may or may not have accidently forgotten something like my request for a side of mayo, or lemon for my water. I will sometimes tip more than 100% if I am dining alone. I'm a little confused about why requests for hot tea, or lemon for water, or ranch dressing on the side are always mentioned as being annoyances on blog sites. I ask for these things because I like them, not to annoy my server.

purplegirl said...

Anonymous, welcome! Thanks for stopping by. I started writing a comment response, but it got too long, so I turned it into my next blog entry. :)