Monday, May 2, 2011

Guest post: You don't have to be healthy to be a prick.

Today's guest post comes from DMT. If you'd like to join the guest post queue, please email me at slightlycranky at

An old woman came up to the till with a danish and demanded "This, a
 glass of water and a knife" I was taken aback by the way she barked at 
me but I put on a big smile, the sooner I served her the sooner I wouldn't 
have to deal with her rudeness. I told her "I'll have your glass of water in 
a second, the knives are in the cutlery tray just to your left". I fetched a glass 
and went to the ice bucket and she screamed "No Ice!!!!" in a you idiot tone
across the counter at me "What ever way you like it miss" I hope you like it 
in your face because if you bark another order at me so help me... (I really
wish I said that.)

I took her payment and as I did I noticed she had very bad tremors in her hands. 
Realizing she had Parkinson's, I decided to forget about the way she spoke to me
 and bring her items to her table. But as I was leaving her table she shouted "AND A 
KNIFE ?!?!?!!?!!!" in an exasperated and outraged voice. "Sure" I said through gritted 
teeth and got her knife (I had some really violent thoughts involving the knife as I 
was doing so). Before I was out of earshot and able to breath a sigh of relief, she 
spilled her change purse and just commanded me to pick it up. Not so much as a
please, thank you, or kiss my ass. I just pushed the incident  aside and got back to 
work I had a string of pleasant customers I could have a chat with and low and behold
 who should darken my doorstep again? This time she demanded a packet of biscuits 
that open them which I did. As I was handing her receipt and change she said "dont 
bother" I said "pardon?" and by way of an answer she flicked the receipt into my face! 

If anyone deserved to be exasperated it was me. I would have liked to throttle her
but then again why bother? God saved me the bother and he's doing it constantly
I know I'm a spiteful evil bastard but I need some retribution even if its just a bad
joke at her expense.


Bouncin' Barb said...

I'm always amazed at the ignorance and cruelty of other people. Imagine how miserable their lives must be that they have to treat others the same way? Good post.

Under Cover said...

No excuses for her behavior, but am just wondering if it could be the other way around. Maybe she is so frustrated with her health issues that she is taking it out on the world (lucky you.) Again, that does not excuse her behavior. Some of us use humor to deal with our problems; I know many who do.

JoeinVegas said...

I'm looking forward to being mean and cranky when I get old

Flippingtables said...

I like to try to have fun with older people, I see a lot of them. Evil old Nags and Funny old Grumps. Find a way to turn a grump's bad day into a big smile! We only live once! Your writing is great and I will definitely be catching up on past posts, just discovered you on another's blog. Keep it up. check me out too if you have time!