I had a section tonight of three six-seater booths, and they were full of larger parties most of the night. The first three were all sharing meals to some degree or another, which just pisses me right off. After my third round of tables, I had a family with four kids. They looked nice enough, and the kids were all over ten, so I wasn't dreading it too much. But as soon as I approached, I knew I was screwed. They all pulled that "I don't know what I want, get his order!" crap, but none of them actually knew what they wanted and so I wasted five minutes being directed to person after unprepared person. When they did finally figure it out, half of them were mumblers, and their table was right under a speaker, and they got pissy when I couldn't hear them.
Then we had to sing the Evil Corporate Birthday Song to another table, so of course the mother runs up to us as we're going to the other table to tell me this. Luckily for me, the birthday girl didn't want a song, just a dessert. But then I bring her dessert, and everyone else wants something too even though they just told me they didn't. But of course, only one of them knows what they want, so it's a repeat of ordering their dinner.
Finally I get their dessert order, and deliver it along with their check--and make sure to offer them a gift card since they cut me off the first time. They then sit there being a pain in the ass for about another half an hour. Their checkbook moves around, but never has anything in it, even after I see the woman pull out her wallet and fiddle around with it. I had to go to the bathroom, and they showed no signs of being ready, so I went. I come out and they're still as they were. So I talked to one of my coworkers for about thirty seconds, and then I look up and the woman is standing and glaring across the bar at me.
Right away, I trot around the bar, get her card and run it. She takes another five minutes looking at the ticket, shuffling the three pieces of paper around, looking at her check line by line. Their bill was $72, and she left me $7. I think from all her frowning and squinting and stalling that she didn't expect their bill to be so much. Because two kids' meals, three appetizers, four adult entrees, two milkshakes, two sundaes, and a chocolate cake slice should be, what, $5?