Yesterday at work, CL gathered us all around in the back for a pre-shift meeting. After reiterating that we need to sell margaritas (blah, blah, blah), she said we were celebrating something: Lapdog's some-ungodly-length-of-time anniversary with the company. He got a fancy pin, and an award from the district manager for something I'd love to tell you about but you could google it and find out exactly where I work!
Then he got a round of applause, and he started blushed. The man turned beet fucking red. It was hilarious, he looked like a little emo kid. Someone jokingly said "speech, speech!" Lapdog kind of fumbled for words and finally said "Get back to work!" as he tried to escape. I'm lucky he was in a good mood, because of course what shot out of my mouth was "Well, that was very in character. Don't surprise us or anything." He just laughed.
See, sometimes I don't want to stab him!