People were really flipping out over stupid shit tonight -- and in some cases they were just plain lying.
The first dumbass complaint was against a fellow server, Crystal. Some of her friends were at one of her tables, and one of them was on the phone with Crystal's boyfriend. He handed the phone to Crystal, who said "Hi, I'm really busy, tell the kids I love them!" or some such and handed it back to her friend. But this bitch-ass cunt woman at the next table told CL that Crystal stood in the middle of the dining room, talking on a cell phone, for 15 minutes! Right, because nobody else would've noticed that? The topper, though, was when Crystal heard the snotty bitch tell one of her crotchspawn, "I got Daddy free food!" Oh yeah -- and CL believed the woman at first! Dumbass.
Around the same time, I answered the eternally ringing phone.
"How long is the wait for a table of nine?" asked the woman on the other end. She had one of those sickly sweet, overly polite voices that you just know means she's actually a total bitch.
"Well, we do have a wait right now, I think you'd be waiting about twenty minutes."
"Do you do call-ahead seating?"
I hate that question. "No ma'am, we don't do call-ahead seating or reservations. I can take your name and let the hosts know, and we'll do what we can. But if we have another rush or another large table comes in, they'll be on the list first."
"So can you put us on the list?"
Sigh. "I can give your name to the hosts, but we don't take call-aheads so I can't promise."
"Okay, well we live about ten minutes away. So we'll be there soon."
"Alright, if you'll give me your name I'll talk to the hosts and we'll do what we can."
"It's Sandra. We'll be there in ten minutes, will that be okay?"
I was getting the feeling she was willfully not hearing me. "We'll probably still have a wait then, but that's fine."
"Okay, we'll be there in ten minutes!"
I meant to tell CL about the phone call, because I just had a feeling that woman was going to be trouble. Oh, how right I was -- unfortunately I got so busy I didn't have time to talk to her. About thirty minutes later she comes out of the manager's office irritated.
"Who answered the phone and told a party of nine we'd put them on the list?"
"I did not tell her that!" I went through the entire thing, and luckily CL believed me. She said the woman was yelling and saying they were going to our competition because we "pissed her off". Then CL said that at the end of the call, she'd told the woman she'd find out who told her she was on the list, and the woman immediately backed down: "Oh no, no, I don't want anyone to get in trouble!"
Right, because nothing puts a damper on your lying little scheme like the truth coming out! Later I found out that her husband had come in and gotten in the host's face, swearing and yelling, because they were "supposed to be on the list"! And twenty minutes is too long to wait at seven o'clock on a Saturday night!
Then, during bingo tonight, we had two different tables pitching a fucking fit about the "noise". Because god forbid people go to a restaurant to have fun! If you want quiet go to a fucking library. One of the tables complaining was about ten feet from the bingo podium; but of course, when we offered to move them to the other side of the restaurant, they declined. Guess they only wanted something free! The other complainers were on the far side of the restaurant from the bingo podium -- with the bar, two rows of tables, and a glass partition between me and them. They complained the entire fucking time, demanding it be turned down -- but then people wouldn't have been able to hear the numbers, and would have been able to hear the cooks yelling. So we didn't turn it down. Actually both of them "inspired" me to turn the music up just a little louder in between rounds. Ha! After bingo, they started bitching about the regular in-house music. Their server asked me how to turn it down -- so I cranked it up several notches above normal first. Fuck 'em. No surprise, they sat in their corner talking until ten minutes after close.
Wannabe had a super fun table during bingo too. Their entire order was ready except for the french fries with one item, so the kitchen sent everything out except the fries. Whoever delivered the meals told them the fries would be out shortly; three minutes later Wannabe came out with said french fries and was greeted with a whole lot of swearing about "this is bullshit" and "this food is fucking gross". Wannabe got CL, of course, who was treated to the same thing:
"This food looks like shit! And we're not going to eat some of it while waiting for more! That's stupid! Every damn time we come here things suck! We always have to get everything re-done!"
I guess CL had had enough at that point, because she point-blank asked him, "Then why do you keep coming back?"
The guy stuttered and stammered, then lamely said, "Well, it's always good the second time."
"And we buy it." CL said flatly.
The guy actually fucking smirked and said, "Exactly."
What a fucking tool! Then he got angry and accused CL of "causing a scene" when she stacked up their plates and they clanged together -- because he demanded she replace all four meals because of the fries they waited for! So he asked Wannabe for CL's boss's number. CL took it to him and told him she's the GM, this is her name, this is her boss's name, go ahead and contact him.
Why are people such lying douches?