Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Thank you for telling me how to do my job.

I get so fucking sick of people acting like they know what I'm doing better than I do! Granted there are some people who come in to the restaurant knowing what they want; maybe they're regulars, and always get the same thing. But I get so tired of people just talking over me when I'm trying to get the details of their order. For instance, when someone orders a steak and immediately tells me they want a baked potato, then without even half a second for me to speak says, "aren't you going to ask how I want that cooked?" Well, maybe, if you'd shut up, you dumb bitch.

Today I was hosting and all freaking day people were demanding to sit at specific tables. One woman stomped in and said, "Chris's section is over here, right?" over her shoulder as she continued on her merry way. Too bad for her Chris wasn't working today! Then there were the fun people who when I took a second to see if a specific table was open -- you know, because it's my job to seat people in a rotating fashion -- act like I'm too dumb and say, "how about a booth over there?" No, how about a booth over there, now that I've taken three seconds to ensure it's clean?

And then you have the people who think their car needs to be part of their dining experience. One couple demanded to be sat at the booth by the window right in front of their truck -- the one next to it just wouldn't do. Of course, that guy also asked me and the other host if we were strippers as he walked out the door so he's clearly just special.


Amber said...

This reminds me of the time that our hostess came back to the kitchen in order to inform me that I had been sat. It wasn't my turn to be sat, and I was elbow-deep in a vat of hardened, freezer-burned ice cream at the time.

I inquired as to how it had happened that I had gotten sat. The hostess indicated that the guests in question had "sat themselves," to which I replied, "Well, I guess they'll just have to serve themselves too!"

The male guest just happened to be walking by, toward the restroom, when I made that announcement, and upon returning to his seat, gathered his female companion, and, stopping by to let out a bevy of curse words toward the hostess, left.


Pancake Grrrl said...

We have some crazies like this too. As soon as you greet them, they try the old "pump-fake" method at the seating podium to try to get around you while you're asking how many are in their party. They're scoping the dining room to make sure nobody is sitting at their special table. Don't get me wrong, I like regulars, but they still sometimes get the impression they own the place. FYI eating in an establishment doesn't make it your house.

Surviving the Journey of Life said...

I just came across your blog and laughed out loud at this entry. I share your pain! I was a host and server for years and was subjected to those same irritating customers. I think all of those assholes should be forced to work in the restaurant industry for at least a full week so they understand what it's like to deal with dumb-asses day in and day out.

I'm now following your blog I hope you check mine out too!

Cielo Gold said...

In addition to bartending, I also cover hostessing shifts from time to time. It annoys me to no end when you are seating a table and they want to sit anywhere but where you're trying to sit them.

Awhile back, I was seating a couple at a rather nice, quiet table for two. They were the first people to be be sat in the room. As I placed the menus in front of them on the table, the woman looked around the room , looked at her date and said, "Geez. I feel like they made us sit in the back of the bus." I know she wanted so badly to play the race card and get sat at another table. I pretended like I didn't hear her comment and told them to enjoy their dinner.

It was just a table. A nice table at that. Playing the race card over where you sit for dinner wont ever get you anywhere with me.

Anonymous said...

Yeah--I remember working as a hostess...they have to deal with all the dumb fucks/total assholes first. Honestly, the worst time I had was with this one server who was a total cunt. I could guarantee you that she would fly up to the host stand every fifteen minutes during the shift to make sure that she hadn't skipped rotation (and she would make us recite the seating history just to make sure 'why did they seat THERE', that kind of thing). I think I actually drove the bitch to quit after one night. It was really busy, and I saw her powerwalking up to me to demand her little updates. I told her that I had no time for her shit and went back to work. She had a tiny section that night, and had to be skipped in rotation a few times because her section was full whenever she came up. She was up demanding her review of the rot. board when one of her tables left. i told her that I would seat her next, because I had skipped her so many times. She glanced down, saw that she was not technically 'next' (since I had marked F for full next to her section, and two other servers were above her in rotation at the time), and the dumb cunt had the nerve to look at me condescendingly and say 'Nope. You gotta stay in rotation, honey.' As if I was a total retard who didn't know how to run a board. I suppose I was a very stupid hostess, because I forgot to seat her section for the rest of the night, then gave her an 8 top of Canadians right as she was about to be cut followed by a 4 top of more Canadians five minutes later as she was trying to be cut. Oops.