Tuesday, May 3, 2011

We don't serve those here.

Right after I got to work today, somebody brought a salad back to the kitchen in a panic. There was a huge live spider in it! Fucking disgusting. Of course, it happens sometimes with produce; although this is only the second time in my ten years serving I've seen it.

Lapdog took took the salad and and looked at it for a long time. I thought he was going to go absolutely nuclear about it. Instead, he looked across the line at one of the cooks and said seriously, “Paul, I think you need to go to the doctor and get checked out.” Long pause. “This looks kinda crab-like.”

11 comments:

DMT said...

Lapdog is a poxy wanker like for fuck sakes he could have had the decency to take Paul aside instead of announcing to everyone in kitchen that he might have crabs how would he like it is someone said "hey lapdog I think you might have scabies" or some other disease

purplegirl said...

I guess I didn't tell it right; he was kidding, everyone thought it was hilarious.

fuckmytable said...

No, I think you told it right. It's just that working in restaurants (especially chain restaurants) breeds a certain type of humor that not everyone gets. In most other circles it would be highly offensive, but for some reason when you're in the kitchen it's fucking hilarious.

If coworkers at a "real" job talked to me like they do at the BC, I'd probably be upset. But at BC (or Chili's), it's hilarious. I guess we're all so miserable that anything to laugh at is something good to laugh at.

DMT said...

Oh I get it now that us funny its just when I read it straight I thought he had been serious (damn my minds voice for its lack of intonation and emotion) I take back the poxy wanker comment unless of course he's done something I haven't read about that warrants its use :p

SkippyMom said...

May I steal the term "poxy wanker" lol

And yes, restaurant humor is it's own special beast. I miss it.

Under Cover said...

Should charge the customer extra for the protein added to the salad.

Vicki said...

Hahahahahaha--that is awesome! I just started following this blog and that is a great story.

It's so true about restaurant humor. We opened a restaurant almost 2 years ago and my BF--who doesn't have a restaurant background--still doesn't get it sometimes. Like he was all freaked out because 2 of the cooks were having a spatula (sword) fight...LOL... he was like "What?" And then a second later "Who's winning?" ROFLOL...When he told me the story I couldn't stop laughing because he just didn't get it...

Bouncin' Barb said...

That was pretty damn funny. Our entire kitchen staff back in 1982 were all potheads and most of the wait staff. We had more fun under pressure than I don't know who. What a blast. There is something about restaurant humor.

jlo said...

I love when the boss not only see's the humor in the situation but cracks a joke to relive the tension. I work in a small cafe/truck stop where at the most we will have 6 people working a shift, even then the boss does not always get in on the jokes. But when she does it seems like she has been thinking about it for a long time.

Kasey said...

OMG this is hilarious. I'm kinda curious as to what the customer said to the server...and how much the tip was. LOL

kayla.rose said...

I love your blog! Have just changed over to barwork from waitessing; I get to call the man that pays my wages a filthy slut. I think I even told him to get checked, and we pranked him last weekend while he was away ... hid his laptop and phone cord and keys ... love it!