Thursday, May 5, 2011

I am not fucking Santa Claus.

An old lady at my table today was going on and on about the “atmosphere” in our restaurant. I'm assuming she was talking about the thin veneer of civility emanating from all the cookie-cutter-uniformed employees trying desperately not to hurl themselves out of a window just for some variety in our lives. “And you're part of that,” she said. “You're so happy and jolly!”

Oh, shut up. Like that's a compliment? I'm not Saint Fucking Nick. I might have a bowlful of jelly, but I am not jolly. Shut up and get out of here. Don't even bother to leave me the ten percent tip, k?

6 comments:

DMT said...

Oh yes another good one is "sure isn't it better to be busy than idle?" Yes but not when the line has been out the damn door for 5 hours straight and its been so manic you haven't even had a chance to grab a glass of water!

Bouncin' Barb said...

Oooops, I'm so sorry ma'am. I can't believe I spilled that on you!

DMT said...

@ Bouncing Barb lol - I was laughing so much due to my jolliness I shook like a bowlful of jelly and it sloshed out of the glass

The Restaurant Manager said...

"I'm assuming she was talking about the thin veneer of civility emanating from all the cookie-cutter-uniformed employees trying desperately not to hurl themselves out of a window just for some variety in our lives." ~ What a perfect summation of the lives of servers (at least where I work)

JoeinVegas said...

Perhaps it is a good thing that most Vegas restaurants are in casinos, and don't have any windows.

purplegirl said...

Hahaha Barb! And Restaurant Manager, I think that describes servers everywhere. Strange how such a hectic job can be so boring.