Tonight was super fun. And by that I mean ridiculously fucking slow. I think I had five tables, one of which was my mother and some other family members. One of the four other tables was seemed okay. They looked vaguely familiar, but then again so do 90% of our customers after three years.
It was a table of four: a twentyish girl with a very little baby, her friend, and a couple around the same age. I wasn't really expecting much from them; they had a slight white-trash vibe going for them. But you never know, so I was polite as always. But, sure enough, when I went to clean their table a few minutes after the left, I'd gotten screwed. One cash payer left his coins, the other left nothing, and the one credit card slip had a big angry zero slashed across it, and said “should read -->” on the front. Oh, the bitchy customer note. Fucking fabulous. In loopy, high-schooler looking script, it read:
“WE COME HERE ALL THE TIME AND NEVER HAD THIS MANY PROBLEMS. OUR FOOD DIDN'T COME OUT AS APPETIZERS AND MEALS. $MESSED UP OUR TABS LEFT WATER GLASSES EMPTY WE WILL NOT COME BACK IF THIS IS OUR SERVICE”
Oh, fuck you, fucking bitches. I assume the second sentence means they didn't think there was enough of a gap between their appetizers and dinners arriving. It was only a five minute gap, but with four people sharing, it didn't seem at all hurried. Silly me.
One water glass was empty for a few minutes while I was taking an order at another table; nevermind the fact that two of them were sucking down a soda each every five minutes and they never ran dry.
As far as the tabs being “$messed up”? Here's what happened. I printed out their three separate tickets and delivered them. When I came back they had two credit cards, and the only guy had set five dollars on top of his tab. I did a double-take on that, and saw that our computer had quite strangely rung in his food, and sent it to the kitchen … but then didn't charge him for it! It was a freaking $12 meal! Now I admit, if it had been a friend of mine, or even somebody who wasn't sneering at me, I might have let it slide. Then again, with Lapdog and HotPants working and having their respective panties in a twist over shit, maybe I wouldn't have.
Anyway, I made a big show of looking at his ticket and laughing and saying how weird, I'd never seen that before. He gave me that “shit, you caught me” look, and I said I'd be right back with the right copy. So I rang the item in again – and this time it did show up with the correct charge, took him his change, and then took care of the other two tickets. When I came back I realized I'd brought back the zero slip and the original slip for one cash payment, rather than the two separate slips. I said, “Oops, grabbed the wrong one, be right back!” and scooped the appropriate slip up off the counter and was back in literally five seconds. So to sum up: almost, but didn't, give them the wrong receipt for one payment, and fixed a computer error. That's “$MESSED UP OUR TABS”. So basically they're pissed off that I made their buddy actually pay for his food!
The last part about not coming back? Please, don't get my hopes up by making promises you won't keep. You're exactly the kind of bitches who do come back and bitch every time about stupid shit that didn't actually cause any problems.