Monday, August 1, 2011

I don't fucking do my job.

I like to swear as much as the next person. In fact, I fucking love to fucking swear. But the next time I hear Bug say the f word, I might lose it. Because it always seems to be used in the same way: “I don't fucking (insert part of her job here).”

“I don't fucking get ice.”
“I don't fucking run hot food.”
“I don't fucking answer the phone.”
“I don't fucking take tables on the patio.”
“I don't fucking close.”
“I don't fucking do the bathrooms.”
“I don't fucking put my hair up.”
Etc.

And of course, because she's a 26-year-old stick insect who gets wasted every night despite having three kids – i.e., she's who CL wishes she was – she gets away with whatever the fuck she wants. Tonight CL flipped out at me about how there were dirty tables, food to run, ice to get, blah blah blah – things I'd been doing. Bug, who was also cut already was doing her sidework and ignoring everyone panicking around her. Not a word was said to her. Grrr.

Anyway, because I've learned to take what little bits of satisfaction I can, I was amused when she pulled another “I don't fucking” that actually hurts her. We have a wing special one night a week: 5 for $2 or 10 for $4. Apparently, Bug finds this too confusing because the last time I worked with her on that day of the week, I heard her flat-out lie and tell someone that the regular wings were a better deal.

I asked why later, and was told “I don't fucking do that. I don't fucking mess around with this 'two dollar' 'four dollar' bullshit. They can get the fucking regular wings. It's the same fucking thing.”

I just said okay and left it at that. The regular order of wings is 10 wings, and one upsell point. So if she wants to screw herself out of upsell points on every other table by not ringing in two orders of five instead, that's just fine with me. Shifts are based on upsell percentages, after all.

4 comments:

JoeinVegas said...

Shifts are based on who likes who. Sorry about that.

fuckmytable said...

Joe - Not when you work for corporate. Computers keep track of your sales totals and the computer determines what section you're in and, in some cases, the actual shifts you get (based on availability, of course).

maxi said...

Woah! American restaurants are scary. I work for a brand chain in the UK and no one gives a shit about what you sell and how you sell it. We choose our own sections and shifts (within reason) and the manager is quite happy for us to rearrage our shifts as long as they're covered. I still hate my job but I think I would hate it a lot more if I was doing the same thing in America! You have my sympathy now more than ever!

purplegirl said...

Joe, that plays in to it, but the official corporate standard is to base shifts on sales. Within availability, as FMT said.

Maxi, there are non-corporate restaurants that are run more like that, but corporate ones .... iron fist.