Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Well, I'm in a bad mood.

So this would be a good time to write up that story, huh? I've found it's difficult to write my blog posts when I'm in a good mood -- because the good moods are never caused by work!

So last night was kind of a shitty night anyway. People were just impatient. Not too long after first cuts, I had a table of an elderly couple and their son on the patio. I thought they'd be a great table, they were smiling and happy and ordered big expensive drinks.

I delivered their food and asked if they needed anything else, having already brought them extra napkins and sauces in anticipation. They seemed thrilled with their food and said it was great, so I thought I could nip into the bathroom because my bladder was about to rupture.

Well, I came out a couple minutes later and Porn Star stopped me. "Your dude on the patio threw his ribs at me and said they were burnt, the kitchen's making him new ones."
"Shit. Okay, does he need new sides?"
"No, he kept his sides."

I went into the kitchen and was greeted with a glare from Lapdog. Apparently burnt ribs are my fault, rather than the cooks'. He asked if the guy still had his sides, and I said yes, and hustled out to the patio with new ribs.

Well, surprise surprise, the guy didn't actually have his sides. I apologized for the mis-communication and said I'd be right back. Naturally, I got to the kitchen and they didn't have any fucking fries cooked. They hadn't even dropped them. So I got his cole slaw, and I ran back out to the patio. I figured he'd be annoyed, but holy shit.

I placed the cole slaw on the table. "They're just cooking fresh fries for you, sir, they'll be ready s--"
"WHY THE HELL WOULDN'T THEY BE READY NOW!" he sprayed spit all over me as he yelled.
I was flabbergasted. "They're making fresh ones, I thought you'd prefer that."
I can't really articulate what all he said next. It was a blur of half-finished sentences about half-cooked fries, burnt ribs, bullshit, and I don't even know what else. At one point he scooted his chair back and started to stand up, making fists, like he was going to get in my face! He culminated the whole rant by yelling "Take the damn ribs!" and shoving the plate into my stomach so hard I really thought I'd have a bruise. Then he threw a ramekin of barbecue sauce onto the plate, splashing me with it. I was literally stunned motionless and speechless. Then he ripped the plate out of my hands, yelling "Put my goddamn ribs down!"

I didn't say another word. I just stomped away, ripping open the patio door, saying probably loud enough for them to hear, "I do NOT get paid enough for this!" By the time I reached the manager's office, I was in tears.
"Lapdog, you have to go talk to this angry old asshole on the patio."
He blinked at me.
"He's swearing at me, throwing things at me, spitting on me -- I'm not fucking dealing with him anymore."
Lapdog heaved a huge sigh and got up. I explained what happened as we went to the front of the house. As he went out to the table, I could see the old man's wife had gotten up and was rubbing his back, soothing him.

Lapdog came back several minutes later, bitching and moaning about having to comp so much food -- he took forty dollars off of their bill! What the fuck ever! But at that point I decided I wasn't going to let them know he'd upset me, so I delivered their bill professionally -- not making eye contact with the old asshole -- and when they were ready I cashed them out. I guess the old lady felt bad because she left me ten bucks, which is ten bucks more than I was expecting!

I can let a lot of things roll right off my back; I have a pretty thick skin. But that old bastard just crossed the line. Swearing doesn't offend me on its own, but combined with spitting, throwing things, jamming plates into my abdomen, and acting as if you're going to physically confront me? Fuck that. Fuck it hard. And fuck Lapdog too for bowing and scraping to someone who talked to his employee that way!

21 comments:

Elyse said...

This reminds me of the time when another server's customer felt that she wasn't working fast enough, and decided to hold his plate out in the isle-way while I walked by, just hoping I'd notice and grab it before crashing into it. I didn't, it hit me hard, causing me to stumble back, and of course crashed on the ground, shattering into a million pieces - near a baby of course.

I grabbed my stomach instinctively, looked at the mess and then turned to glare at the asshole so hard I'm sure I could have burned holes through his skull. Then I said, "I'm fucking pregnant, asshole." and walked away.

He disappeared for the night - out in the car terrified? - and his date left the server 50% of the bill and gave me $20.

I wasn't pregnant, though I honestly wasn't sure at that time.

Anonymous said...

OMG what a fucking asshole. I think I would have taken the plate and smashed it against his skull, thrown the apron down and quit. You were on the patio right? If no one was around I'd tell him to fuck himself and his ugly hag of a wife.

fuckmytable said...

Oh my God. The whole time I was reading that, all I could think was I would have grabbed that plate and dumped it into his lap. NO ONE gets in my face and yells at me for ANYTHING. Of course, then I'd certainly be fired...but honestly, I'd go work somewhere else and say fuck it. If management isn't willing to see the situation for what it was, it wouldn't be worth staying anyway.

Sorry this asshole was, well, an asshole. I can't believe the control you had to stand there and take it, and to go back to the table after that! Kudos to you, and here's hoping no more of "that kind" make their way into your section.

Anonymous said...

Lapdog needs to get slapped. Spineless ass monkey.

DMT said...

Lapdog has obviously been neutered. What an obnoxious miserable old fart by the sounds of it his wife was probably embarrassed by his behavior that's why she threw down a tip

SkippyMom said...

Wow. I don't know why people act this way. What is the point? If you are this angry stay HOME! How can they treat another human being this way.

It is easy to say what we would do in this situation, but as much as I would like to think I would give him a "what for" back in his face, I am sure I would've been so shocked I would've walked away. When you need a job, you need a job. And I think the customer knows it.

And LD is a tool. A big, fat, flipping tool. Spineless bastard.

stream27 said...
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stream27 said...

Customers can be assholes no matter what. You can't really control them. I'm disgusted that your manager didn't even try to stand up for you. There's a lot wrong where I work, but our management would never let anyone treat an employee like that. They would have been escorted the fuck out.

Anton said...

That is INSANE. It makes me wonder if the dude had some dementia or something happening. That's so far out of line. You were assaulted by a customer! How can your management not stand up to that?

Carys said...

I CANNOT BELIEVE that the son or wife didn't try to stop him. WTF??

Anonymous said...

You need to report this incident to your head office. What that man did was assault, and your manager not only didn't kick those people out but gave them free food? Unacceptable. I'm sure their were witnesses. Do not let this go.

Rachel said...

Serving tables is one of those professions where you honestly start to question whether or not you are human anymore. I mean, are you? If I were to take the way people treat servers and the way that behavior is accepted into account, I would start to wonder if we really aren't some near-human speicies. Customers can swear at us, snap their fingers at us, physically assault us, shove things into our hands out of the blue, and if we even say, 'excuse me, spitting on another person is rude', we'd be fired. Because management would take the inappropriately behaving asshole over the server he's clubbing with a plate every time. After all, your restaurant desperately needs the business of some old, spitting, crotchety coot.

Jeni said...

thats not OK. not at all. I can handle swearing, but ANYTHING physical or threatenting and a manager should make them leave. id have been a bitch, grabbed my belly and said "oh my poor baby! what have you done?!!!" and run off. lol. pretending i was pregnant. but im a bitch.

JoeinVegas said...

I hope that you have nice customers once in a while. (but they wouldn't make for good blog posts)

Anonymous said...

Like Anton, I wonder if the dude has dementia. Acting out is not unusual for people with dementia. And your manager is a woos.

dirtydisher said...

That asshole should have been thrown out and told not to come back..AND charged. Lapdog handled this badly.

Anonymous said...

Lap Dog should have evicted him immediately! he assaulted staff. no bill, just the bum's rush.

Bitchy Bartender said...

that is ASSAULT. Fuck Lapdog... should've called the cops

Anonymous said...

There is too much bad language n this blog-both by readers and the writer.

Is this how you are at work?

Jada said...
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Anonymous said...

Look, I don't care how much money you make in tips at a place, DO NOT put up with verbal or physical abuse from asshole customers! It is NOT worth it!

As for the Anon poster who commented about the language, this is a private fucking blog, and the author has the right to express themselves in any fucking way they fucking see fit! If you don't fucking like it, don't fucking read it!