Wednesday, May 9, 2012

The new boss, retention training, and my bitchy alter-ego exposed!

Alright, I'm actually going to address those in reverse order, which my journalistic sense tells me is terrible but it just didn't flow right the other way!

I haven't been completely outed, although a comment I got a couple of posts down .... hello, fellow a-ha fan! I can't begin to guess who you are, because, you know, anonymous! But I'm very curious, I want to know who's found me out. So please appease my curiosity! Email me at slightlycranky at, or send me a private message on Facebook (because I'm assuming you know who I am from my tattoo pictures etc!).

Retention training is both better and worse than I expected. The actual training is boring as hell - and this bitchy chick announced to a group of people that it's obvious I want one of the guys in the training class (hey, K2 is adorable, what can I say), so that's super fun. The calls haven't been too bad. Disconnecting accounts isn't nearly as bothersome as I thought.

The part when I have to try to talk people out of cancelling, well, honestly I suck at it as much as I thought I would. When people are just searching for something free or a bargain, I am all over that. But the people calling in to say "I'm switching to your competitor because they're cheaper!" ... well, honestly it kind of flusters me. Because the truth is, when it comes to at least the other major competitors we have, our regular rates are absolutely cheaper. We charge the least for premium channels like HBO, we charge the least for channel packages, and we charge the same or less for extra receivers and stuff.

The thing is that people don't believe me. They assume I'm lying, because it's my job to try to keep them with the company. And I absolutely fucking hate it when people assume I'm a liar. I'm not a good liar at all. That's why I'm always getting told to "show more empathy" -- because I cannot say things to customers like "I'm so sorry you had this problem" when it's not actually a problem at all and they're just being dickshoes. But people assume I'm lying, and they get snotty with me. "They're going to give me all that free!" My aching fucking ass they are. "They're going to give me that price for two years!" No they're not. But whatever. I don't get a bonus or a penalty based on my save rate -- at least, not yet. I'm sure it's coming.

I've only had limited contact with my new boss so far, when I went in to work some overtime on Saturday. He's younger than me, which doesn't bother me too much. I had a 19 year old boss once, so at least it's not that bad this time. He seems cool. Not Frat Boy-cool, but hopefully I won't absolutely hate being on his team.

But here's the really good news, and why I can put up with the assholes thinking I'm a liar, etc: I got a 20% raise. More than I was expecting, and apparently more than most of the other people got. What can I say, I'm just that awesome.


Jake said...

Raises were one thing I loved for call centers. There turnover rate was high enough that they actually paid to keep the good people around. Keeping the good people around doesn't really fit their business plan, but national ratings of their company dictates that it is necessary.

While I was working for Carlson Hotel Reservations, they said their turnover rate was 50%. Unfortunately, I was the one of two people who quit because I couldn't handle it. Selling just isn't my thing. Selling and screwing other people over just to make a buck was even worse. Not something I wanted to be apart of.

Jake said...

Also - the system that they used was so entirely useless. You couldn't even complete tasks that should have been simple and in order to make a sale, you essentially had to screw the customer and sell them something they truly did not want.

theblonde said...

Once I read 'dickshoes,' I completely could not concentrate on the rest of this post. That is my new favorite thing, so thank you for that.

Anonymous said...

Dickshoes!!!!!!!! new word in vocabulary! Sad though that people calling in for a discount have been labelled as people looking for free shit. Makes me understand a bit more why my internet company wouldn't budge when they upped my bill by 20/month for the EXACT SAME SERVICE, saying i was on a previous promotion and nothing could be done to reduce or retain me. really? 60+ for basic internet? anywho..hope you like your new spot/hours! I think i've read just about every post you have posted..and i'm crossing my fingers for you and am happy that you found somewhere you are at least comfortable and decently treated