I love people who can't seem to process how credit cards work. My final table tonight was two women, who had lingered for about an hour and a half over two cocktails. They finally asked for separate checks, so I dropped them off. One handed me cash and said she didn't need change; the other had a hold on her credit card but didn't give it to me. I stayed within about ten feet, and three minutes later she started flapping her hands at me.
"There's nowhere on here to sign!" she says, and thrusts the ticket in to my face.
I looked at her credit card, still clenched in her hand. "Right, you never gave me your credit card."
"That's just the ticket," I try.
"Oh, so I just give you the ticket?" she jams it in my face again and starts putting her credit card away.
"No, I need your credit card, you never gave it to me."
(blank stare, still clutching card)
"There's nowhere to sign."