Every once in a while, I get it in my head that I should try harder. I should try to really connect with my guests. I should do everything I can to make their dining experience better. Tonight was one of those nights.
My first table was a young family, dad, five year old daughter, and pregnant mom. They threw out one of those random comments about her pregnancy that let me know they're attention whores – you know, instead of just saying she'd have a plain cheeseburger it had to be she'd have a plain cheeseburger because “the spicy one” would upset the baby. And because I was in the mood I was in, I took the bait. I asked when she was due, clucked my tongue sympathetically when she complained of her morning sickness, and was smiley and friendly with the five-year-old. My coworkers who witnessed this were shocked, especially when I went about my business in the kitchen with nary a mention of annoying crotchspawn.
While family #1 was eating, family #2 sat down. Mom, dad, and a kid. After I fetched their drinks, the mother asked me if we had a half-sized portion of one of our pastas. I hate that question. If we had a half-sized portion of anything, it'd be printed on the fucking menu. So I said no. Then I retracted that, because I remembered that I was trying to go above and beyond – “You know what, I can make it happen.” She just sort of looked at me. “I know computer tricks.” I said with a smile.
And I do. I order it for dinner all the time. So away to the computer I went and got the uppity bitch her half-sized, half-priced meal. I also chatted with their kid; I continued to talk to Pregnant Lady.
I got a whopping 10% …. combined.