Sunday, November 27, 2011


I waited on a mom and her adult daughters last night. They were fun, having a girls' night out, and it was nice to see some smiling people for once. They had drinks and salads, and when their meals went out I skipped over to see if they needed anything else.

"Well," the mom said, "I didn't get hardly any potatoes! Is this a diet plate or something?" She sounded utterly disgusted.
I just started giggling, I couldn't help it. "Um, yes, actually. It's one of our Low Calorie items."
She blinked at me.
"'Is this a diet plate or something?'" one of her daughters mocked, and we all busted up laughing -- including the mom.

Oh, thank god for people who don't suck.


DMT said...

I love customers who you can have a laugh with. One of my regulars, I'll call her Mel, is like that. Mel's 80 years old and despite needing a zimmer frame she insists on queuing like everyone else to place her order. She is unbelievably funny and always has a kind word to say even if she has a complaint to make. I admit that I'm very fond of her; she always asks to speak to me whenever she's in and I'd consider her to be like one of my great aunties.

I was on closing shift tonight so there was only two of us; myself on counter and my friend on tables and dish room. Out of nowhere we got a mini rush in the last 15 minutes. As ques go it was no big deal; there was no huge wait for the customers, but I had one incredibly impatient bitch in the line.

When I finally got to serve her I greeted her with a big smile, but before I could say anything she snarled "tea to go NOW!" and that was it, she didn't speak to me again she only glared for the rest of transaction. I don't really understand why she acted that way I was serving everyone ahead of her in a speedy and friendly manner, but I guess there is no pleasing some people.

Mel was in the line behind her and watched the whole thing, as the bitch was walking away Mel shuffled up and said "Not enough dick; that's what her problem is" loud enough for everyone, including the bitch, to overhear.

It was so funny; the other customers were either giggling or standing slack jawed and the bitch was shaking with indignant rage as she left. I thought I was going to explode from holding the laughter in, I honestly don't know who I wasn't rolling around behind the counter.

jstrom said...

Your posts make me remember the misery that was waitressing for 8 long years. Good luck, stay strong.

Aunty Pol said...

Oh that's my new phrase " Not enough dick....".

I wanna be Mel when I grow up .

Waving from Houston

Anonymous said...

Holy shit, DMT. That is a freaking awesome regular!

Cool Beans said...

Oh my gosh... customers like that exist? Really though, we've got a lot of regulars who like to people watch the assholes. And then they gossip to us about what they overhear. Love them.