Friday, April 13, 2012

More on the personal.

I know, I know; I'll get back to bitching about customers eventually. Promise.

I just wanted to answer what SkippyMom and DMT said in their last comments about seeing a doctor about my exhaustion/depression. I've been on Prozac for about nine years, I'm basically non-functional without it -- depression and anxiety run in both sides of my family. And I've been going to doctors every so often for my fatigue for the last twelve years. It always goes something like this ...

"Oh, well, you're fat, so you probably have diabetes, that's why you're tired." Then they check my blood sugar and it's fine.
"Well, your thyroid is probably sluggish, that's why you're tired AND fat." Then they check my thyroid and it's fine.
"Well, overweight people often have sleep apnea, so you probably have that and that's why you're tired." For years that's where it stopped, because I couldn't afford a sleep study. Then I had insurance and went through the pain in the ass and expense of a sleep study and nope, no sleep apnea.
"Well ..... you're fat." And of course they don't fucking believe me when I tell them that losing weight does not help my fatigue. Because I'm a lying fatty, right? I just didn't get skinny enough. Never mind that dropping fifty pounds had no fucking effect on how I felt.

(No, I'm not bitter at all. Not after years of being told everything wrong with me ever was because of my flubber. Got allergies? No you don't, you just feel crappy because you're fat. Can't breathe through your nose? FAT. Depressed? Maybe you shouldn't be so fat. Burning pain in your stomach? Must have gall bladder disease, fatass. Except, oh wait, turns out I'm allergic to fucking everything, I had a massively deviated septum and malformed sinuses, a family history of depression, and a fucking peptic ulcer that went untreated for years. Ahem. Sorry.)

My ENT did think that my sinus surgery would help, and it did, sort of. But my personal theory is that something in my immune system was damaged when I had mono twelve years ago, because that's when this shit started. Before then I'd sleep four hours a night and run around like a crazy person. After that, I spent months sleeping 18 hours a day and failing classes because I literally could not wake up. Since then, I just never have any energy. I literally do not remember the last time I felt like I slept well, or the last time I felt like I had non-caffeine-induced energy. But I've basically given up because I've literally lost count of the number of doctors I've seen who've had no suggestions.


Anonymous said...

Ugh, I feel your pain. Go to the doctor's and try saying this. I know I am overweight and that impacts my energy/levels and ability to sleep somewhat. I am concerned that in addition there is SOMETHING else that is going on. And describe it to them. Try writing down what you eat/how much you sleep/how you feel after for a week or two. It will help when you go to the doctors.

in the mean time, says the hypocrite, you could start forcing yourself to exercise (just walk) for 30 mins a day. I did this for some time and it helped me feel more rested. Also try the no screens rule for like 2 hours before bed.

With the sleep study - if you don't have insurance, you should call around and tell people you don't have insurance and what would be your options. A lot of places will cut fees in half if you're willing to pay in cash. Could be worth it. If that isn't an option, if you have a smartphone get the sleep cycle app. It'll track how many times you go from awake to asleep and deep sleep based on your movement. This could help you figure out if you're "asleep" but not actually in sleep mode.

Finally, maybe you should talk to them about the possibility of changing your meds (dose/type/etc). Also, find out if other things you could be taking (meds/vitamins) could be interacting. Turns out some people have very weird allergies to natural things that can totally fuck with your system.

Good luck girl!

Anonymous said...

I forgot - also have them check your B12 and Vitamin D levels. Those both make you super drowsy/forgetful if you're low.

Kitty said...

Hey dude.
Been reading for quite some time now (I just recently became a former waitress myself) and in regards to you feeling shitty all the time I was wondering if you had ever considered changing to a plant based, whole foods diet. (fruits, veg, whole grains, legumes, little to no added oils and NO, not to lose weight).

There have been a lot of studies that find food to be the answer.
Cutting out meat, dairy and eggs has helped a number of people reverse diseases, find energy, prevent certain cancers, and yes, lose some weight too.

Anyway, I've seen it help a lot of people (myself included), and most doctors wouldn't think to recommend it because they don't know its benefits.

Just something to think about, if you like.

Regardless, I hope the job stops sucking so much ass and that you find your way soon.

Brad and Lisa said...

I was thinking of getting the sinus surgery done. Can you tell me how it helped you? Less sinus infections? Easier breathing? What was the pain and recovery time like?

Brit reader said...

We get the same over here too:

-sinus issues since a kid
-constant colds, ear infections, crappy balance since a kid
- sleep apnea since a baby (mum was told to hold me upside down under the cold tap so I'd wake up!)
-insomnia since a kid
-sinusitis headaches through college
-Dodgy ankle and wrist from a kid (wrist partially caused by accident when a toddler so was grafted)
-Allergic rhinitis (hidden by living in a smoking house hold until I moved out) since a kid
-Dairy intolerance from a kid. (they still won't believe this)

Only put on weight at 18-19ish (same age as my mother did coincidentally).

Yet all of the above are weight related. hmm... I can't get anyone to even give me help sorting out the no dairy/ low calcium issues because of it.

*hugs* It sucks. So much of medicine hates looking deeper than "the 2by4 sticking out of your chest" level issues.

FuckMyTable said...

I would like to point out that a plant-based diet is NOT proven to improve health by cutting out meat and dairy. The paleo diet consists of meat and plants and has similar results for people with "unsolvable" health problems. The key, I believe, is processed foods and sugar. Both diets cut out these foods and both diets show results. I can provide information that shows the guy who came up with the China Study diet (plant-based diet) falsified his information to further his agenda. I can also provide information showing that the studies on the paleo diet DIDN'T falsify their information. Just saying. I absolutely hate Dr. Campbell and the China Study because, in the science realm, falsifying your data is the biggest sin you can imagine.

Kitty said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Yup, everything that's ever been wrong with me too has been because I'm just so fucking FAT. Thank you for saying that! It's so true. All doctors just want to know is your weight and they don't actually do the tests that were invented for whatever it is you came in for... that's why I just don't even bother going to the doctor most of the time...sigh.

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