Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Changes in perspective.

My car died halfway through my hour-long commute, so I'm enjoying a half a day off of work. But while I'm waiting for someone to give me a ride home, I'm sitting at my former place of employment. I was here last week to see people, and I'll be honest .... Coming back has crossed my mind. I'm so burnt out at the call center.

I think there are three main reasons. One, the goddamn drive. Two hours a day is a lot. And I LOVE to turn on my music, roll the windows down, and sing away a long drive. But I've been having a ridiculous amount of car trouble the last few months. I've had two flat tires, a blown-out tire, a fuel pump that went out, run out of gas five fucking times, and then today's smoking-car fiasco. This is between three different vehicles, and here's the kicker: none of them were my fault. Truly. Even the running out of has was due to malfunctioning gauges, fuel leaks, etc. It's fucking retarded. And oy vey, the cost of gas! I make 11 an hour before tax once you subtract gas.

The second reason is that I feel like I spend my days having the same conversation, over and over and over. My calls tend to fall into three categories: "why should I pay to replace your equipment" (because it's been in YOUR possession for two years maybe), or "you're too expensive, I'm switching to Competitor!" (who in 99% of cases is NOT cheaper after the first year and is in fact more expensive), or "I want something free." And it gets old, bitches, older than people bitching about their food.

The third reason is feeling socially isolated. I work with some nice people, but I hardly get to talk to them. Our breaks are at different times, we can rarely talk between calls, and after work all we want to do is get the fucking hell out of there. Plus when we do talk, I have to really restrain myself. I spent years in an atmosphere where I could pinch Mistress J's boobs, slap Work Wife's ass, and tell Lapdog to fuck off all in the same trip through the kitchen. This place is exceedingly strict about sexual harassment, as any corporate place would be. Sexual stuff aside I can't even toss out my usual sarcasm or I'll get talked to (again). It's fucking stifling. Plus there's a lack of physical contact. I didn't realize until the boy dumped me how empty of human contact my life is without my friends here. We were always hugging or casually touching. And when I first changed over to the new place, I had the boy. Now .... If I don't see a family member or friend, which because of schedule is a rare thing, I might go weeks without so much as brushing another person. I didn't realize how much it affected me.

I guess there's another reason - schedule flexibility. I've never had a job before where I couldn't request an unpaid day off. Even when I was salaried, I could shift my hours around and make it work. But this place is totally hard-nosed about it. You can't swap shifts. You can't work overtime one day to cover the next. You can't pre-schedule a day unless you have paid time available. I'd like to know what exactly their fucking problem is with NOT paying me. But it's really difficult to see friends, see family, bake, etc.

And somehow all of that adds up to considering the possibility of dealing with Chicken Little again. I know, it's freaking insane. But I think I would feel differently about it, because I would be choosing it this time.

I don't know. I'm just kicking it around right now. But I don't think I'll find anything but serving that will give me the schedule flexibility I desperately want and the income. If I were making enough to be saving up, to be getting ahead ... If I were able to save up enough to pursue my actual dreams, I could look at it as a stepping stone. But I'm still just scraping by. If I'm going to scrape, I'd like to at least do it more on my terms.

And then I thought of something add and went to the trouble of downloading a blogger app and starting to edit this.... And now can't remember it.


Anonymous said...

I worked in the cable TV industry for 20 years.. CSR, Dispatcher,data entry. I enjoy your posts because it brings back the memories and from my experience you've summed it up in this post. It does get old and tiring and oh boy the corporate bullshit! Good thoughts for which ever direction life takes you.

Vicki said...

Sadly, I know what you mean. Once you get used to the pace of working in a restaurant it is very hard to have a "normal" job with "normal" hours. I've been one of those people who left the restaurant because I wanted a "real" job and I always went back to working in a restaurant. It gets frustrating and the people can be annoying as all get out--but...the money is good if you're good at it...the flexibility can't be beat because you can almost always find someone willing to cover for you in a pinch...and as much as it galls me to say it--LOL--the joking around with co-workers can be a lot of fun. =D Hey--you say it's sexual harassment and I say it's a funny as shit joke...LOL.

Good luck either way. I enjoy reading your blog and wish the best for you.

SkippyMom said...

At least you have the luxury of being able to give up on that job and return to your old one. Neither sounds like a good fit for you, but they'll suffice to support you.

Have you ever considered going into a field that interests you? It can't pay any worse than either of those two jobs and even if it is a menial entry level job, at least you would be doing something you like and with the right attitude and work ethic you could move on up.

Those can't be the only two jobs available to you and I have always been a firm believer in if you love what you do then you will always have enough money. It has worked out for us and plenty of our friends.

Although....if you were actually happy in your job, what would we read? giggle I wish you the best in landing on your feet.

purplegirl said...

Thanks Anonymous, nice to know other people feel like that about it too! And Vicki, you're so right about how hard it is to have a "normal" job! Even my other hourly jobs were more flexible that this -- they just do not bend.

SkippyMom, a field I'm interested in would be great ... if there were such a thing. I've never had anything I Want To Be When I Grow Up. It makes things really hard. Well, I shouldn't say never. I used to think I'd be a writer, but I don't write anymore. And I love to bake, but getting the funds to open a bakery .... yeah.

Anonymous said...


I know that in my state, you can run a food service out of your home provided that certain conditions are met. If you like baking, start out offering your services to people who need stuff for celebrations and do individual orders. Word of mouth spreads fast. My friend's mom works a catering service out of her home and does very well. No store front needed! If you like that sort of thing, I suggest you check into the laws of your state to see something like that is possible for you. If it is, you can work out of your home and save up money to expand your business.

As a small business owner myself, I cannot stress how fucking awesome and terrible it is. It's terrible because at first, you support the business. You find yourself sacrificing things in order to make the business work. But it's wonderful because a little sacrifice results in a thriving business. A thriving business can provide financial support, meaning at some point your business supports you and not the other way around.

Best wishes and keep us updated on what you do!

yellowcat said...

I commuted an hour (RT) to work every day for 6 years. Recently, I quit that shit and got a job where I live. I'm making less, but I'm not paying for gas and car repairs. I'm home 3 minutes after work, not 45 minutes after. There is no where for me to spend money where I live, so I actually have money in the bank.

The food industry is like no other and you either love it or you hate it. I tried to be an office worker for several years and I hated it. I hated the backstabbing, the fake smiles, and the office politics. In food service, you tell people off, clear the air and move on. You know who doesn't like you and a stab in the back doesn't come as such a surprise.

Maybe you should try a different restaurant. Same job, different place.

Best of luck!