Saturday, October 17, 2009

Idiot & Jackass of the night

I didn't have a bad night at all, but I do have stories!

We'll start with the jackass. Toward the end of the night, a middle-aged couple came in. They had a water, a tea, and shared a half price appetizer. When they had their money out, I saw there were three stacks of coins.

"This is exact for the bill," the man shoved a five, a one, and a stack of coins at me. Then he slid the other coins to me. "And this is your tip. It all adds up!"

There was a "fuck you" on my lips right then for sure. I held it back somehow and scooped up the half pound of change. I didn't even bother to count it. I saw three quarters, a few dimes, and a bunch of goddamn pennies. I don't mind change, exactly, because I do have a coin jar. But to give me nothing but coins with the snide "it adds up" comment? Fuck off!

The idiot was just amusing. She sent her kid's macaroni and cheese back to the kitchen because she "didn't realize it was made with milk." What fucking planet are you from, lady?


Pademelon said...

Oooohhh! I hate the full bill in change. Only because everyone I had pay that way were demanding and the tip was way low and they always said something along the lines of "It's all there."

How did the woman miss the cheese part of macaroni and cheese? Do you ever wonder if there's some universal law requiring most people's brains to shut down as soon as they walk in the door of a restaurant?

I'm sorry you've had so many bad tales to tell lately.

JumpIt said...

I HATE change!! Although, we did have a mentally retarded woman come in about once a week. She always ordered a diet with a house salad w/ thousand island dressing. Before you take her order, she spills her entire change contents on the table and counts out to make sure she has enough. She barely has enough, but she makes sure she leaves you a tip EVERY time. That is one instance I really wish I could give the change back to her (and not to be a bitch) because she needs it more than us.

BB said...

I hate pennies. Because at the end of the night in the bar.. we only have quarters. So for me to put pennies in my drawer means that I usually give them back accidentally as quarters as change for someone else...

In fact, when someone tries to pay me in pennies.. I tell them to not even bother.. and just let my drawer be off. It's so freaking annoying when everything is rounded out to the quarter and they still pay in pennies!! Agh.. I'm in a nasty mood tonight!

SkippyMom said...

And how is cheese made in that woman's world? Jeesh. [now I really want some mac and cheese :)]

I hate change because we carried all our payments in our aprons and a pound o' change made it hard to keep the sucker on. And I jingled. Bah.

[Jumpit I love that story, so sweet]

purplegirl said...

There've been a few times when I felt like my pants were going to be pulled right down my ass by the weight of all this change! I don't know what it is about the last few weeks.

Marie said...

Holy crap! I can't believe there is someone else out there who has heard "I didn't know the mac and cheese had milk in it!"
Seriously, I thought that was a unique experience for me, but I guess I shouldn't underestimate the abysmal depths of idiocy of the restaurant-going public.