Sunday, September 18, 2011

Not gonna happen.

I waited on a charming old bat tonight.

“I want a salad before my dinner. Before. I want an iceberg salad. You have iceberg, don't you? If you don't Albertson's is right there!” she stabbed her wrinkly finger out the window at the grocery store in our shopping plaza. At first I started to laugh – then to choke when I realized the bitch was serious. I told her as mildly as possible that we did indeed have iceberg lettuce, and absolutely did not tell her to reel in her liver-spotted claw and go buy her fucking iceberg salad herself, Albertson's is right there.


SkippyMom said...

I have never understood customers who demand we leave the restaurant and go to the store to buy them what we don't have. This happens a lot with the whole Pepsi/Coke thing. And they get peeved when you explain that NO you are NOT leaving your place of employment and all your other guests.


maxi said...

I had a table a while back that all wanted spirits. This is a bit unusual in our restaurant except for the odd G+T but these tables do come along occassionally. Unfortunately, the manager had royally forked up the spirit order that week so we had half a bar. Not ideal but not exactly the end of the world either.

SO typically these guys wanted everything we didn't have. And after apologising and feeling like shit every time I had to tell them no they finally told me to go to TESCO and stock up the bar for them. In the middle of a busy saturday night shift! I couldn't help myself, I laughed. LUCKILY, they were being very deadpan and were actually joking. So all was alright. But, srly, like I could nip out and stock up on booze JUST FOR THEM??!!

fuckmytable said...

One night at Chili's we were out of every goddamn thing. (Nothing new there.) My table was understandably pissed when they couldn't order some mixed drinks because we were out of pineapple AND orange juice. I get it - I'd be a little put out too. But no, I'm not going to drive to the store to get you some. No, my manager isn't going to drive to the store to get you some. No, we can't use it if you go buy some for us. We can make you the drink and you can mix it yourself, but we can't use anything not ordered through our approved vendors. SUCK IT.

Squishy said...

While you're at the store can you get me some feminine hygiene products, diet pepsi, and some decent basalmic dressing since most places don't have decent italian?

...And this is why I go to a specific italian place near my house when I want Italian instead of to work because they make the best italian and a lovely tomato tapenade with fresh bread. And Purple, if you visit, dinner is on me =) You're buying the wine...hahah.

Jake said...

Who the hell chooses Iceberg lettuce over Romaine? Fucked up world we live in.

And, I loooooooooooooove Albertson's.
Although there hasn't been one anyone near me in ages. I thought they had all been shut up. Lucky you!

purplegirl said...

Skippy, I've had that Coke/Pepsi thing a ton of times too. My favorite was when I worked at a restaurant that was across the street from a liquor store with a vending machine, and this one old hag who hand me a dollar and demand I go get her a coke!

Maxi, people are just crazy! At least those guys were cool!

FMT -- "SUCK IT" is right. Damn entitlement junkies!

Haha, Squishy, I should pick up their suppositories too while I"m at it right? :) Might take you up on that dinner if I have a reason to head south! :D

Jake, you make me laugh. Fucked up indeed. :) And I confess, it's not REALLY an Albertson's right by us, although we do still have them around here! Just substituted a corporate name for the local chain!

Caveman said...

Your blog makes me laugh. I feel your pain. The difference is amazing in what we want to say to stupid customers and what we actually do say. I just started a blog along the same lines as yours, however from a bartenders perspective. You may find it amusing.